If Xmas Was a Jewish Holiday



	Mishnah Brurah for Xmas (L'havdil)



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	Have you ever wondered what Xmas would be like it if were a Jewish holiday?
	
	 ----------------
	:  LAWS OF XMAS  :
	
	I. PREPARING FOR XMAS 
	
	1. PREPARATIONS FOR XMAS MUST NOT BEGIN(1) BEFORE THANKSGIVING.(2) THIS 
	APPLIES TO PREPARATIONS WHICH AFFECT THE HOLIDAY MOOD,(3) BUT NOT THOSE 
	WHICH ARE DONE IN PRIVATE.(4) 
	
	(1) This contrasts sharply with Shabbos, for the mitzva of honoring Shabbos
		applies all week long. For example, if one finds a particularly 
		good food during the week, one should save it for Shabbos even 
		though it is now only Sunday and Shabbos is a week away. However, 
		Xmas preparations may not begin	too far in advance, in order to 
		fulfill the dictum, "It's beginning to look a lot like Xmas." 
	(2) This is because of the principle that two festive occasions should not
		be mixed into each other. Note the decree of the great R.H. Macy, 
		who established that Santa Claus may not appear in the Thanksgiving 
		Day parade until after all the other floats have passed. 
	(3) Such as setting up the Xmas tree (some say even buying one,) or playing
		holiday music on the muzak. 
	(4) Such as buying gifts or buying the Xmas dinner turkey. Cooking the
		turkey may not be done before Thanksgiving because it will appear 
		to be a Thanksgiving turkey. 

	2. SOME HOLD THAT THE TREE SHOULD BE DECORATED IMMEDIATELY AFTER 
	THANKSGIVING,(5) BUT OTHERS PREFER TO DECORATE IT AS CLOSE TO XMAS AS 
	POSSIBLE.(6) 

	(5) For the mitzva of "adding to the yom tov" by beginning the Xmas season
		early. 
	(6) As it is said, "Do not put off for tomorrow, that which can be put off
		for the day after tomorrow." 


	----------

	II. THE TREE 
  

	1. ANY SPECIES OF TREE IS KOSHER FOR USE AS A XMAS TREE, PROVIDED THAT IT 
	HAS NEEDLES AND NOT LEAVES. IN OUR LANDS IT IS CUSTOMARY TO USE A FIR 
	TREE.(7) IT SHOULD BE REASONABLY FRESH, BUT NOT TOO FRESH, IN ACCORDANCE 
	WITH THE PRINCIPLE "A XMAS TREE WITH NO FALLEN NEEDLES IS LIKE A SUKKAH 
	WITH NO BUZZING BEES." 
	
	(7) If the lady of the house already has a fur, then any evergreen may be
		used. 
	
	2. THE TREE SHOULD BE CHOPPED DOWN SPECIFICALLY FOR USE AS A XMAS TREE; 
	IF IT HAD BEEN CUT FOR LUMBER IT IS INVALID. IF THE TREE WAS CUT FOR 
	GENERAL DECORATIVE PURPOSES, BUT NOT SPECIFICALLY AS A XMAS TREE, SOME 
	AUTHORITIES ALLOW IT WHILE OTHERS ARE STRICT. A STOLEN TREE IS NOT VALID 
	FOR THE MITZVAH.(8) FORTUNATE IS ONE WHO IS ABLE TO CHOP HIS OWN TREE 
	HIMSELF.(9) 
	
	(8) One who cuts his own tree must make sure that he has permission from
		the landowner to do so. Ideally, cut only from one's own backyard. 
		A tree taken from a reshus harabim, such as the county park (which 
		is actually a carmelis, not a reshus harabim,) is considered as 
		stolen and pasul. 
	(9) One who is unable to cut his own tree should make sure to purchase it
		from a reputable dealer, or one who is certified by a national 
		kashrus organization. 

	3. DURING THE SHMITTA YEAR, A JEW MAY NOT CUT THE TREE DOWN, BUT IT 
	SHOULD BE DONE BY A GENTILE. HOWEVER, SINCE THE TREE IS INEDIBLE, THE 
	PROBLEMS OF "KEDUSHAS SHVIIS" WHICH APPLY TO THE ESROG DO NOT APPLY TO 
	THE XMAS TREE. 

	4. THE TREE MUST BE BRIGHT GREEN. BRIGHT RED, OR A MIXTURE OF GREEN AND 
	RED, IS ALSO ACCEPTABLE FOR A XMAS TREE(10), BUT BROWN IS NOT. THERE MAY 
	BE ONE BROWN SPOT NEAR THE BOTTOM OF THE TREE,(11) BUT IN THE TOP HALF OF 
	THE TREE, EVEN ONE BROWN SPOT WILL PASSUL THE TREE. A TRULY PIOUS PERSON 
	WILL MAKE SURE TO BRING ALONG A XMAS TREE EXPERT WHEN HE GOES TO LOOK FOR
	HIS TREE.(12) 

	(10) Because such trees do not grow red naturally, many Sefaradim adorn the
		tree with red poinsettia flowers. Ashkenazim prefer poinsettas. 
	(11) Or even two, provided they are on opposite sides so they cannot be
		both seen at the same time. 
	(12) But it is more macho to pretend to be an expert and pick the tree out
		himself. 

	5. THE REQUIRED HEIGHT OF THE TREE IS SUBJECT TO MANY RULES. AN INDOOR 
	TREE MUST BE TALL ENOUGH SO THAT IT REACHES WITHIN 3 TEFACHIM OF THE 
	CEILING.(13) AN OUTDOOR TREE MUST BE AT LEAST 20 AMOS TALL. 

	(13) Where local fire codes prohibit the use of such large trees, a smaller
		tree - even a bonsai - may be used, provided it has toy people 
		around it who will make it appear tall. 

	6. THE LAW IS "ETZ ISH U'BEITO" - ONE TREE FOR A MAN AND HIS HOME. THIS 
	TEACHES THAT INDIVIDUALS MUST HAVE A XMAS TREE AT THEIR HOME, AND THAT 
	THE MAIN FUNCTION OF THE TREE IS FOR THE BENEFIT OF THE FAMILY, BUT 
	PUBLIC PLACES ARE EXEMPT. IF ONE WISHES TO PLACE HIS PERSONAL TREE IN A 
	PUBLIC LOCATION HE MAY DO SO, BUT HE WILL NOT HAVE FULFILLED HIS 
	OBLIGATION UNLESS IT IS TRULY SEEN BY THE PUBLIC. IN THIS CASE, "SEEN BY 
	THE PUBLIC" MEANS THAT THE TREE IS LARGE ENOUGH THAT IT IS SHOWN ON THE 
	LOCAL TV NEWS REPORTS.(14) 
	
	(14) This is the origin of the custom of the great tree in Rockefeller
		Center, where a shaliach from Lubavitch lights the tree just before 
		sunset on Erev Xmas, and is then returned to Crown Heights by an 
		NYPD helicopter in time for the dinner meal. 

	7. IN RECENT YEARS, THERE HAS BEEN A GREAT CONTROVERSY OVER THE USE OF 
	MANUFACTURED TREES. L'HALACHA, SOME HOLD THEY ARE PASUL,(15) WHILE OTHER 
	AUTHORITIES HOLD THEY ARE VALID.(16)  L'MAASEH, HOWEVER, EVEN THE LENIENT 
	OPINIONS HOLD THAT ARTIFICIAL TREES ARE TOO TACKY, AND THUS VIOLATE THE 
	PRINCIPLE OF "HADAR". BUT IF ONE HAS ALREADY MET HIS OBLIGATION BY 
	DISPLAYING AT LEAST ONE KOSHER XMAS TREE, HE MAY HAVE ADDITIONAL TREES OF
	ANY KIND, NATURAL OR NOT.(17) 
	
	(15) Based on the pasuk "Etz chayim hee" ("A tree is alive"), teaching that
		even if it looks like a tree, it still cannot be a tree unless it 
		was alive at some point. 
	(16) Based on the pasuk "Etz chayim hee" ("It is a tree of life"), teaching
		that some trees have life, and others do not necessarily have life. 
	(17) Similarly, manufactured trees are acceptable in malls, offices, and
		other exempt public places. 

	8. ORIGINALLY, THE LAW WAS THAT THE TREE MUST BE DISPLAYED SO THAT IT 
	WOULD BE VISIBLE TO PASSERS-BY OUTSIDE THE HOME. OVER THE CENTURIES, AS 
	PERSECUTIONS INCREASED, THE PEOPLE INSIDE THE HOME BECAME THE MAIN 
	AUDIENCE. EVEN SO, IT SHOULD BE DISPLAYED IN A PROMINENT AREA OF THE 
	HOUSE, TO SHOW RESPECT FOR THIS MITZVAH. WHEN POSSIBLE, IT SHOULD 
	PREFERABLY BE BY A WINDOW WHERE IT COULD BE VIEWED FROM THE STREET, TO 
	CONTINUE THE ORIGINAL PRACTICE. 
	

	----------

	III. DECORATING THE TREE 
	  
	
	1. AS WITH ALL MITZVOS, THE TREE SHOULD BE TASTEFULLY(18) DECORATED. 
	POPCORN TASTES EXCELLENT, AND SOME STRING POPCORN TOGETHER (WITH NEEDLE AND
	THREAD)(19) TO MAKE LONG CHAINS WHICH ARE WRAPPED AROUND THE TREE. 
	
	(18) In order to keep children actively interested and participating in all
		the goings-on, "tasteful" is defined by the youngest person in the
		household. This generally results in displaying all sorts of holiday
		projects in school, no matter how tacky or amateurishly done, giving 
		great prominence to "artwork" which is normally allowed nowhere but 
		the refrigerator door. 
	(19) To remind us of the pasuk, "We're all connected." (New York Telephone) 

	2. THERE ARE MANY DIFFERENT MINHAGIM REGARDING THE DECORATIONS. THE MORE
	DECORATED THE TREE, THE BETTER. ONE MUST BE CAREFUL TO MAKE SURE THE
	DECORATIONS ARE PUT ON SYMMETRICALLY.(20) 

	(20) This is derived from the law that one's head tefillin must be in the
		exact middle of one's head, and the similarity of the words 
		"tefillin" and "tree fallen". 

	3. TREE DECORATIONS ARE CONSIDERED "MUKTZA L'MITZVASA", "SET ASIDE FOR 
	ITS MITZVA", AND MAY NOT BE USED FOR ANY PERSONAL USE UNTIL AFTER XMAS IS 
	OVER.(21) FOR EXAMPLE, EDIBLE DECORATIONS MAY NOT BE EATEN UNTIL AFTER 
	XMAS. SIMILARLY, SINCE THEY MAY NOT BE USED FOR PERSONAL USE, ANY 
	DECORATIONS WHICH FALL FROM THE TREE ON SHABBOS OR ON YOM TOV MAY NOT BE
	REPLACED(22) UNTIL AFTER SHABBOS OR YOM TOV. 
		
	(21) See Siman 9 below for opinons regarding when Xmas actually ends. 
	(22) Or even handled. 

	----------

	IV. GIFTS 
	
	1. ONE IS OBLIGATED TO BUY PRESENTS, REGARDLESS OF HIS INCOME LEVEL, FOR 
	EVERY PERSON THAT HE HAS EVER SPOKEN TO IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE AND THEIR 
	IMMEDIATE FAMILY MEMBERS. ONE MAY GO INTO SERIOUS DEBT IN ORDER TO CARRY
	OUT THIS MITZVAH. PRESENTS MAY BE EXCHANGED AT ANY CONVENIENT TIME DURING
	DECEMBER UP UNTIL THE 25TH. 
	
	2. REGARDING A CHILD WHOSE BIRTHDAY OCCURS ON OR AROUND XMAS, SOME SAY TO
	GIVE HIM A DOUBLE PORTION OF GIFTS,(23) AND OTHERS SAY TO GIVE HIM A 
	SINGLE PORTION.(24) SOME RESOLVE THIS BY GETTING HIM A NORMAL NUMBER OF 
	GIFTS, BUT THEY WOULD BE DOUBLE IN SIZE OR VALUE.(25) 
	
	(23) Which may cause others to feel cheated. 
	(24) Which will surely cause him to feel cheated. 
	(25) Another idea has been to celebrate "Xmas in August". See Rabbi
		Edward's opinion below, in section 9:2. 
	

	----------

	V. THE OFFICE PARTY 
  

	1. "WHEN DECEMBER ARRIVES, OFFICE PRODUCTIVITY DECREASES".(26) BEGINNING 
	AT 9:00 AM ON THE MONDAY PRIOR TO XMAS, ALL REAL OFFICE WORK STOPS.(27) 
	IN ORDER TO MAINTAIN THE ILLUSION OF DOING REAL WORK, EMPLOYEES BUSY 
	THEMSELVES WITH TASKS SUCH AS THE COMPANY NEWSLETTER, OR PLANNING THE 
	OFFICE "HOLIDAY PARTY". 

	(26) As it is said, "It's a slow time of year." 
	(27) When that Monday is Erev Xmas itself, this work stoppage is moved up
		to the preceding Monday. 

	2. IT IS A REQUIREMENT THAT ALL COMPANIES CONDUCT AN ANNUAL "HOLIDAY 
	PARTY" EACH YEAR. THIS HAD BEEN CALLED A "XMAS PARTY" UNTIL 1972, WHEN 
	THE SUPREME COURT RULED IT TO BE A DISCRIMINATORY NAME. THE TERM "HOLIDAY
	PARTY" WAS ENACTED IN ORDER TO MAKE NATIVE AMERICANS, ASIANS, AND
	MUSLIMS(27a) ALL FEEL EQUALLY UN-AMERICAN. 

	(27a) When Ramadan is not in December. 
	
	3. THE "HOLIDAY PARTY", IN ORDER TO BE DONE PROPERLY, REQUIRES A GREAT 
	DEAL OF RITUAL DRINKING AND DEBAUCHERY. "AD'LOYADA" - ONE MUST DRINK AND 
	CONTINUE DRINKING UP TO(28) THE POINT HE CANNOT TELL THE DIFFERENCE 
	BETWEEN HIS FAT DUMPY WIFE AND HIS GORGEOUS 22 YEAR-OLD BLOND 
	SECRETARY.(29) 

	(28) In this case, "up to" means "ad v'lo ad b'clal" - "up to but NOT
		including" the point when he cannot tell the difference. Once one 
		has reached this point he is excused from further drinking. See 
		next note for more details. 
	(29) The example above presumes that he is a male, and his secretary is a
		female. However, if his secretary is male, and he has reached the 
		point where he cannot tell the difference between his fat dumpy 
		wife and his handsome 22 year-old blond male secretary, then he is 
		forbidden to drink any more alcohol until Purim. 

	4. ALL BANKS AND OFFICES MUST CLOSE AT NOON(30) ON THE 24TH OF DECEMBER 
	SO THAT EVERYONE MAY BE ABLE TO GET HOME IN TIME TO TAKE CARE OF THE LAST
	MINUTE PREPARATIONS. 
	
	(30) Retail establishments remain open until 4 PM on Erev Xmas, and Toys
		'R' Us until midnight. Denny's never closes. 


	----------

	VI. THE FESTIVE MEAL 
	  
	
	1. AFTER TZEIS HAKOCHAVIM, THE FAMILY GATHERS TOGETHER FOR THE EREV XMAS 
	MEAL. THERE ARE VARIOUS OPINIONS AS TO WHAT IS TO BE EATEN AT THIS MEAL. 
	ONLY FISH IS TO BE EATEN AT THE EREV XMAS MEAL.(31) ITALIANS HAVE THE 
	MINHAG OF EATING 12 FISHES(32) AT THIS MEAL CORRESPONDING TO THE 12 DAYS 
	OF XMAS. 
	
	(31) When Erev Xmas is on Friday, and the seudah coincides with the first
		Shabbos meal, only gefilte fish may be used. 
	(32) Even on Shabbos, one can easily reach 12 different kinds of gefilte
		fish: Rabbi Yosi HaGlili said, How can we show that four different 
		fishes can make twelve different dishes? Because we ate four 
		different fishes in Egypt, (whitefish, pike, carp, and 
		whitefish-pike,) but we are now able to buy them three different 
		ways. We can buy them ready-to-eat in jars, frozen in loaves, or 
		ground raw at the fish store. Now, it follows that if there were 
		four different species, then there are 12 different gefilte fishes.
		Rabbi Eliezer said, How can we show that each of the twelve fishes 
		is actually eight dishes? Because they can be made with or without 
		salt, with or without sugar, and with or without matzo meal, and 
		there  are eight combinations of those three options. Thus, if there 
		are twelve fishes that can be prepared eight ways, then there are a 
		total of 96 dishes! Rabbi Akiva said, How can we show that each of 
		the twelve fishes is actually sixteen dishes? Because each of Rabbi 
		Eliezer's eight recipes can be made either cooked or baked. Thus, 
		if there are twelve fishes that can be prepared sixteen ways, then 
		there are a total of 192 dishes! 

	2. ONCE THE MEAL IS COMPLETE, THE FAMILY GATHERS IN THE ROOM WITH THE 
	TREE WHERE THEY SING ZEMIROS AND DRINK EGGNOG.(33) AT MIDNIGHT THE FAMILY
	HEADS TO SHUL FOR TIKKUN CHATZOS. SOME OPINIONS SAY THAT TIKKUN CHATZOS 
	CAN BE SAID AS EARLY AS 8:00 PM,(34) BUT IT IS GOOD TO BE STRINGENT ON
	ONESELF. 
	
	(33) Eggnog being a milchig drink, some hold that this is the real reason
		for eating fish instead of meat. 
	(34) So that the children will be awake. 
	

	----------

	VII. SANTA CLAUS 
	  
	1. FOR MANY YEARS, THE EXISTENCE OF SANTA CLAUS WAS A SUBJECT OF INTENSE 
	MACHLOKES IN THE ADULT COMMUNITY. IN 1897, A TEAM OF INVESTIGATIVE 
	REPORTERS WAS COMMISSIONED BY ONE VIRGINIA O'HANLON TO RESOLVE THE 
	QUESTION. THEIR FINDINGS, CONCLUDED "YES, VIRGINIA, THERE IS A SANTA 
	CLAUS."(35) THIS WAS REAFFIRMED SEVERAL DECADES LATER IN A COURT CASE 
	BROUGHT IN NEW YORK COUNTY SUPREME COURT.(36) 
	
	(35) New York _Sun_, September 21, 1897 
	(36) Testimony from the United States Post Office proved to be crucial in
		deciding this case, as documented in _Miracle_on_34th_Street_, 1947. 

	2. IT IS ABSOLUTELY FORBIDDEN TO LIGHT ANY KIND OF FIRE IN THE FIREPLACE 
	ON THIS EVENING.(37) THOSE WHO WANT TO ROAST CHESTNUTS ON AN OPEN FIRE 
	SHOULD USE A BARBECUE. 
	
	(37) DUH! (But see also below, note 39) 
	
	3. TO DEMONSTRATE OUR FAITH(38) IN SANTA, EACH YEAR WE LEAVE HIM A PLATE 
	OF DONUTS OR COOKIES ON A TABLE NEAR THE TREE, WITH A GLASS OF MILK TO 
	DRINK. SOON AFTER THIS PRACTICE BEGAN, CHILDREN BEGAN TO QUESTION WHY THE
	MILK WAS STILL ON THE TABLE THE FOLLOWING MORNING, SO THEIR PARENTS 
	ADOPTED THE MINHAG OF DRINKING THE MILK AFTER THE CHILDREN WENT TO BED. 
	HOWEVER, JUST THREE YEARS AGO,(39) WHILE DELIVERING HIS GIFTS, SANTA 
	ACCIDENTALLY REVEALED TO A YOUNG GIRL THAT HE SUFFERED FROM LACTOSE 
	INTOLERANCE, AND THAT THIS IS WHY THE MILK HAD BEEN LEFT UNDRUNK ALL 
	THOSE YEARS. THE FOLLOWING YEAR, SHE LEFT HIM A GLASS OF PAREVE SOYBEAN 
	"MILK", AND THIS PRACTICE HAS SPREAD FAR AND WIDE SINCE THEN. (IN 
	COMMUNITIES WHICH ACCEPT THE USE OF GOVERNMENT SUPERVISED MILK IN LIEU OF
	RABBINIC CHOLOV YISROEL, LACTAID MILK IS USED INSTEAD.) 
	
	(38) "I believe with complete faith that he knows if you've been bad or
		good, so be good for goodness sake." Ani Maamin #11, daily siddur. 
	(39) _The_Santa_Clause_, by Tim Allen, produced by Walter Disney, 1994.
		This film also showed Santa's new fire-resistant suit which was 
		developed just that year. Nevertheless, the principle is that a 
		protective measure is not abandoned even if the reason no longer 
		exists, and so the ban on lighting fireplace fires remains in full 
		force. 


	----------

	VIII. OTHER MINHAGIM 
	
	1. ONE IS TO RISE EARLY ON THE MORNING OF THE 25TH IN ORDER TO OPEN THE 
	PRESENTS. THERE IS A SEUDAS MITZVAH WHICH MUST BE COMPLETED BEFORE SHKIA. 
	
	2. MEAT AND WINE MUST BE SERVED AT THIS MEAL. LOTS ARE DRAWN TO CHOOSE A 
	DESIGNATED DRIVER WHO MAY NOT HAVE ANY WINE. 
	
	3. THE MEAT MAY ONLY BE ROASTED. ONE MAY NOT EAT ANY BOILED OR BROILED 
	MEAT AT THIS MEAL. 
	
	4. AFTER THE MEAL, MANY HAVE THE CUSTOM TO RETIRE TO THE FAMILY ROOM TO 
	WATCH SPORTS ON T.V. 
	
	5. KIDDUSH IS NOT RECITED ON XMAS, BUT ONE SHOULD DEFINITELY HAVE SOME 
	HOLLY. 


	----------

	IX. HAVDALA 
	
	1. THERE ARE MANY OPINIONS REGARDING WHEN THE XMAS SEASON IS OVER.(40) 
	BAIS HILLEL HOLDS THAT XMAS IS OVER WHEN THE LAST ITEM IN THE AFTER XMAS 
	SALE HAS BEEN SOLD. BAIS SHAMMAI IS STRICT AND HOLDS THAT XMAS IS OVER 
	IMMEDIATELY AT THE CONCLUSION OF THE FOOTBALL GAME. 

	(40) Many are confused by the term "twelve days of Xmas", implying that the
		Xmas continues until and including January 5. Today, this view is 
		accepted only by the Eastern Orthodox, who hold that December 26 
		through January 5 constitute Chol Hamoed Xmas. This view is opposed 
		by both the Modern Orthodox and the Ultra Orthodox (and even the 
		Non Orthodox) who hold that Xmas is only one day long, and any 
		context which seems otherwise actually refers to the Xmas *season*. 

	2. WALLED CITES CONTINUE XMAS UNTIL THE END OF THE WINNING TEAM'S 
	TICKER-TAPE PARADE. A RECENT ACHARON, RABBI EDWARD, CELEBRATED XMAS IN 
	AUGUST; FOR THIS HE BECAME KNOWN AS "CRAZY EDDIE". 
	

	----------

	X. HAGADA FOR XMAS 
  

	This is the fruitcake of our affliction, which our ancestors baked 400
	years ago. 
	All who are in need, come and celebrate Xmas with us. 
	All who are hungry, come and partake of this 400-year-old fruitcake, as it
	is written, "Let them eat cake!" 
	This year we watch football in the living room, next year may the Super
	Bowl come to our city! 

	Some have the minhag to place the gift-wrapped presents under the tree so
	that they will pique the curiosity of the children so that they will ask
	the four essential questions: 
	     How come I have presents and Santa Claus didn't come yet? 
	     Why do we drive on the parkway and park in the driveway? 
	     How much is that gorilla in the window? 
	     Why did the chicken cross the road? 
  
	We were slaves to our employers, working seven days a week with no
	benefits, and then the unions were organized, and decreed a five-day
	workweek and many holidays in the end of the year. Now if the unions had
	not gotten their act together, then we, and our sons, and even our
	grandsons, would still have to work on Labor Day, Thanksgiving, Xmas, and
	New Years. But our daughters and granddaughters still await their salvation. 
	  
	There are four types of children who ask questions on Xmas: the wise one,
	the bad one, the simple one, and the one who does not know to ask. 
	    What does the wise one ask? I don't know; I couldn't understand him
	either. Him you must send to a school for gifted children. 
	    What does the bad one ask? He says, "What is this holiday to you?"
	Because he excludes himself from the community, you must exclude him from
	your table, and he will go back to his employer and get paid double-time
	and a half for working on Xmas day. 
	    What does the simple one ask? He simply asks, "What is this?" You will
	say to him, "This is dinner." 
	     As for the one who does not know to ask, you must go to his room, wake
	him up and say, "Next year, remember to come to the table!" 
	
	If we would have a beautiful tree, but not have stockings hanging from the
		fireplace, it would have been enough. 
	If we would have stockings hanging from the fireplace, but not get today
		off from work, it would have been enough. 
	If we would get today off from work, and not get off on Erev Xmas as well,
		it would have been enough. 
	If we would get off on Erev Xmas as well, but not get presents, it would
		have been enough. 
	If we would get presents, but not a delicious dinner, it would have been
		enough. 
	If we would have a delicious dinner and no dessert, it would have been
		enough. 
	If we would have dessert, but not watch the football game, it would have
		been enough. 
	If we would watch the football game, but not see our team win, it would
		have been enough. 
	If we would see our team win, and have a hangover the next morning, it
		would have been enough. 

	(Pick up the eggnog and say:) But we do have a beautiful tree, and we have
	stockings hanging from the fireplace, and we got today off from work, and
	we got off on Erev Xmas as well, and we got presents, a 
	delicious dinner, and dessert, and we watched the football game, and saw
	our team win, and so we will now toast our team, and pray that we do not
	get a hangover tomorrow morning: "Yay team!" 

	Next year is Purim! 


	----------

	Zmiros 
	
	Who knows one? 
	I know one! 
	One is a partridge in a pear tree. 
	
	Who knows two? 
	I know two! 
	Two are the turtledoves, and 
	One is a partridge in a pear tree. 
	
	Who knows three? 
	I know three! 
	Three are the french hens! 
	Two are the turtledoves, and 
	One is a partridge in a pear tree. 
	
	Who knows four? I know four! Four are the calling birds! ... 
	Who knows five? I know five! Five are the gold rings! ... 
	Who knows six? I know six! Six are the geese a-laying! ... 
	Who knows seven? I know seven! Seven are the swans a-swimming! ... 
	Who knows eight? I know eight! Eight are the maids a-milking! ... 
	Who knows nine? I know nine! Nine are the drummers drumming! ... 
	Who knows ten? I know ten! Ten are the pipers piping! ... 
	Who knows eleven! I know eleven! Eleven are the ladies dancing! ... 
		
	Who knows twelve? 
	I know twelve! 
	Twelve are the lords a-leaping! 
	Eleven are the ladies dancing 
	Ten are the pipers piping 
	Nine are the drummers drumming 
	Eight are the maids a-milking 
	Seven are the swans a-swimming 
	Six are the geese a-laying 
	Five are the gold rings 
	Four are the calling birds 
	Three are the french hens 
	Two are the turtle doves and 
	One is a partridge in a pear tree. 
	

	----------

	One little reindeer, one little reindeer, 
	My father bought for two zuzim. 
	One little reindeer, one little reindeer. 
	
	Then came a cat and ate the reindeer 
	My father bought for two zuzim. 
	One little reindeer, one little reindeer. 
	
	Then came a dog and bit the cat, 
	That ate the reindeer, 
	My father bought for two zuzim. 
	One little reindeer, one little reindeer. 

	Then came a stick and beat the dog, 
	That bit the cat that ate the reindeer 
	My father bought for two zuzim. 
	One little reindeer, one little reindeer. 
	
	Then came a fire and burned the stick, ... 
	Then came the water and quenched the fire, ... 
	Then came an ox and drank the water, ... 
	Then came a shochet and slaughtered the ox, ... 
	Then came the angel of death and killed the shochet, ... 
	
	Then came the Blessed Holy One and slew the angel of death, 
	That killed the shochet that slaughtered the ox 
	That drank the water that quenched the fire 
	That burned the stick that beat the dog 
	That bit the cat that ate the reindeer 
	My father bought for two zuzim. 
	One little reindeer, one little reindeer. 
	  
  






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