World's Reaction to Lady Di's Death

The following illustrates how Diana's death was reported in various
parts of the world:

English Channel:a tragic event has afflicted  Great Britain today,
Lady Di and her multimillionaire companion had a fateful accident. 
The United Kingdom morns the beloved princess. Prime minister
resigns.
 
German Channel: The German people expresses its deep sorrow for the
tragic accident and wishes to remind that the Mercedes car was left
almost intact. A spokesman for the German car industries reminded
that if the road had been made according to GERMAN standard none of this
would have ever happened. 
 
 
Hezbollah Channel: A zionist commando has brutally murdered a Muslim
multimillionaire and his converting western girlfriend. The action
commanded by the Mossad was designed to impair a fruitful relation
between the Arab world and the repenting members of the Royal family. In 
the action, two Hezbollah fighters were slightly wounded and a Israeli 
gunship was downed. Seven [occupation] soldiers were also reported
killed. 
 
Jordan TV: Chairman Arafat calls for an international conference
talk in order to stop the Zionist expansion in the territories and all 
acts of violence from any side, referring to the Israeli involvement in 
the brutal murder of Princess Diana. 
 
Israeli Channel: A terrible event stroke the Royal family today: Lady Di 
dies in an apparent accident. The remains of an Arab suspect was found 
besides Lady Di's body. Shaback is investigating all possibilities and 
first elements of inquiry points to Iranian links. The suicide terrorist 
is said to have come from Egypt but his identity remains classified for 
the purpose of the inquiry. Fortunately, no Israeli casualty is to be 
deplored. The security cabinet will meet tonight late in the evening, 
deciding if further steps against the Palestinian Authority must be taken, 
but meanwhile, taxes will be raised by 17%.
 
French Channel:  A Frenchman, Jean-pierre Lardel, father of two, was
killed in the line of duty, driving a couple of French-non-speaking
foreigners. Jean-Pierre was a devoted husband, a kind person, and
friendly to everyone. President Chirac considers awarding him the
Legion d'honneur post mortem. As far as the Brit and her Arab boyfriend
are concerned, they crashed in their German made car.