Signs You Might Be Too Canadian
1. You know all the words to "If I had a million dollars" by The
Barenaked Ladies, including the inter-stanza banter between Steven
2. You dismiss all beers under 6% as "for children and the elderly."
3. You hum David Foster's '88 Calgary Olympics theme in the shower.
4. You make up patriotic lyrics to go along with David Foster's '88
Calgary Olympics theme.
5. You cried when Gus "drowned" on Road To Avonlea.
6. You remember when Alanis Morrissette was "Too Hot To Hold".
7. You think there isn't enough of Peter Gzowski to go around.
8. You think "Ed the Sock" is funny.
9. You wonder why there isn't a 5 dollar coin, as you can only use more
10. You spend hours in the dark making scale models of the Avro Arrow
and cursing the Diefenbaker government.
11. You watch MuchMusic constantly, in the hopes of occasional fleeting
glimpses of The Tragically Hip.
12. You have an Inuit carving by your bedside with the rationale, "what's
good enough protection for the Prime Minister, is good enough for
13. You have memorized the Heritage Foundation's Heritage Moments,
including your favourites, "Burnt Toast!", "You know I canna read a
word...", and "Kanata".
14. You can sing "O' Canada" in French and actually know what the words
15. You advocate the abolition of responsible government, in favour of
16. You think there isn't enough Queen on our currency.
17. You send angry letters to the CBC demanding the return of the
Hinterland Who's Who spots so you can finally find out what happens
to the arctic ptarmigan in winter.
18. You participate in Participaction!
19. You think Peter Mansbridge is sexy.
20. You think Lloyd Robertson is sexy.
21. You think Peter Kent is sexy.
22. You think Brad Pitt is so-so.
23. You stood in line for hours for Another Roadside Attraction tickets.
24. You killed your best friend for Another Roadside Attraction tickets.
25. You think Great Big Sea isn't Maritime-centric enough.
26. Your graduation formal dress was made of flannel.
27. Your backpack has more than one Canadian flag iron-on.
28. You know the names of all the guys in Sloan.
29. You have been on Speaker's Corner. Bonus points if The Devil's
Advocates made fun of you.
30. You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the
missing 'u's from labor, honor, and color.
31. You know the French equivalents of "free", "prize" and "no sugar
added", thanks to your extensive education in bilingual cereal
32. You still haven't taken down your "NON" posters from the 95
33. You know more than 3 guys named Gordon.
34. You think Ashley MacIssac isn't celtic enough.
35. You remember "Jodie" from Today's Special and wonder why you keep
seeing her reading news on the CBC.
36. You can do the hand actions to Sharon, Lois and Bram's
37. You know why "killerwhaletank" is funny.
38. You can eat more than one maple sugar candy without feeling
39. You had a crush on Joey Jeremiah from Degrassi Junior High.
40. You know that a "Premier" isn't a baby born a few months early.
41. You actually watch The Gemini Awards, The Genie Awards, and The Juno
Awards. You wonder why Stompin' Tom doesn't get his own category in
all three. You scream passionately at the television when your
favourite Canadian performers are overlooked by their respective
42. You are excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.
You make a mental note to talk about it at work the next day.
43. You think -10 C is mild weather.
44. You have twins named Donovan and Bailey.
45. You have twins named Wayne and Gretzky (alternately Gordie and Howe).
46. You read rather than scanned this list.