Translation Guide to a Recording Session

	Musician to engineer: "Could we have more band in the phones?"
	Translation: "The singer is too f**king loud in the phones!"

	Singer to engineer: "I can't hear myself."
	Translation: "I don't want to hear anyone but myself."

	Musician to guitarist: "Can you hear yourself okay?"
	Translation: "You're too f**king loud in the phones!"

	Bassist to band: "Can everybody hear the drums?"
	Translation: "This band is swinging like a broken record!"

	Drummer to bassist: "Can you hear the kick drum?"
	Translation: "We're not locking....."

	Musician to producer: "Could we have more piano in the phones?"
	Translation: "Your artist can't sing in tune."

	Musician to writer: "This song has nice changes."
	Translation: "It's amazing what you can do with two chords."

	Musician to producer or artist: "This song sounds like a hit."
	Translation: "This song sounds like another song."

	Producer to band: "It's a feel thing."
	Translation: "I know the song sucks, but the artist wrote it."

	Musician to producer: "I don't think we'll beat the magic of that first 
		take." 
	Translation: "Please don't make us play this piece of s**t again."

	Drummer to band: "Should we speed up the tempo a couple of clicks?"
	Translation: "Do you all intend to keep rushing?"

	Musician: "Could we listen to one in the control room?"
	Translation: "These cheap phones make it sound like Radio Free Europe."

	Producer to band: "Let's take a break and come back and try one more."
	Translation: "I think I'm having a nervous breakdown."

	Musician to producer: "Were we booked for two sessions today?"
	Translation: "Another three hours of this and I may have to kill you."

	Producer to band: "We're supposed to be done at six, but we've got only 
		one more tune and I was wondering if we could skip our dinner 
		break and work straight through."
	Translation: "You'll be done at nine, and you'll be starved."

	Artist to producer: "I don't like this song. It really sucks."
	Translation: "I didn't write this song."

	Producer to artist: "Trust me. It is a good song. Radio will love it."
	Translation: "F**k you! I own the publishing on this song. Morons will
		buy it."

	Singer to musician: "Can you play something like (so-and-so) would play?" 
	Translation: "I really wanted (so-and-so) on this record."