Stereotypical Ladies Groups



1. the pretty little overachiever
2. the sUpA fOiNe gAngStA gUrL
3. the overdressed girl
4. the backstabber!
5. the kind, sweet girl


1. The pretty little overachiever

a. usually seen at: at family parties showing off her awards, or her
	mother is showing them off. Also, she'll be at the parties 
	playing the piano, while everyone is singing "Achy Breaky Heart". 
	Also, she is following her little scumbag control-freak boyfriend 
	everywhere, always paging him while he's cheating on her!

b. usually wearing: a decent dresser-nothing too cheap and nothing too
	expensive. Just something from Contempo or Judy's. Usually 
	wearing those long sundresses that she wears while playing 
	piano during Sunday Mass. But sometimes wear skanky outfits just 
	to tease her boyfriend!

c. friendly?: Yeah, but only to her friends and people of her "class" 
	And also, she has an innate ability to talk behind people's
	backs. She is very competitive and thinks highly of herself. A
 	snob at heart, she has been taught by her parents to act snobby
 	and think less of other people from her race

d. materialistic?: Of course, she believes that just because she has
	excelled at everything (Grades, money, success), she deserves 
	the best guy available. Always believes she deserves "10's".
 	Wants to date a guy at her "level" or "status". You know the 
	rich guy, who drives a nice Toyota Supra and has a high paying
 	job at the bank! But what happens is that he ends up being a
 	controlling, womanizing, physical and mental abuser who messes 
	up her whole life.

e. other attributes:
	-Has always had straight A's her whole life.
	-A show-off, always talks about herself and always has to prove 
		her intelligence.
	-Believes she is better than other peeps from her race, but 
		will never say she is.
	-Goes in and out of relationships because she can never find 
		the right guy who is at her level. Expects too much 
		from a relationship.
	-Wants guys to spoil her because she deserves it for being 
		sooo smart, sooo beautiful and sooo privileged.


2. TaH sUpA fOiNe gAngStA gUrL

a. usually seen at: Niteclubs jocking new guys, bending over at pool
	halls, video arcades, in bed with someone she met at the club,
 	practicing routines with her dance crew for the niteclubs and 
	did I say niteclubs?

b. usually wearing: Something revealing her ass, navel, shoulders and
	sphincter? Not that there's anything wrong wit that. Well, 
	she always wearing something that gets attention from 
	sex-starved guys. Hmmm...like short shorts, crop tops, high, 
	high heels, and those tight, bellbottomy pants every girl wears!
 	Also likes to wear all that Tommy Hilfiger, Nautica and Polo
 	stuff. Sometimes she dresses like a little butch!

c. friendly?: Well yes if you're a fOiNe guy and if you have something
 	to offer to her. If she wants something from you, she'll work 
	her ass...errr, magic on you. A friendly girl who is just 
	misdirected. She doesn't use her natural friendliness and charm 
	to impress, she uses her looks and ass.  She can be so 
	beautiful, but lowers herself into looking like a slut to
	appease guys. She believes in order for the best (fOiNe) guy to
 	like her, she has to show more ass and act like a slut.

d. materialistic?: Not really, she doesn't give a rat's ass if the guy
 	is rich, smart, privileged or has a nice car. Well nice car 
	does matter, but really as long as he is fOiNe! I don't know 
	why, but she always ends up dating a gangster. She always goes 
	to clubs and poolhalls in the search this this fOiNe guy. 
	Unlike the pretty overachiever, who has to have the "perfect"
 	guy, the gangster girl prefers her guy just to be fOiNe!

e. other attributes:
	-Blond hair, plucked eyebrows, colored contacts...she is the 
		antithesis of plasticgirl.
	-Her lifelong dream is to be a rap ho. You all know what that 
		is. Here's the definition: the token Asian ho in a rap
 		video, nuff said!
	-Really is sad girl, low self-esteem.
	-Always ends up with guys who use her for sex and for physical
		punishment...then throws her away.
	-Oh, there is so much beauty in her, too bad it's wasted and 
		distorted.


3. The overdressed girl

a. usually seen at: the mall in her skankiest outfit. At Sunday Mass, 
	in her skankiest outfit with the priests and fathers checking 
	her out. At the club, in her imperial skankiest outfit, 
	usually dancing with no guys but with her other skanky friend. 
	At the pool hall, in her supa-dupa extreme skankiest outfit.
 	Also, at the grocery store at 9am in the morning in her skanky
	outfit.

b. usually wearing: anything tight. Like skirts, business suits, those 
	tight bellbottomy pants that every girl wears. Also has a new 
	pair of shoes every week. Dresses up for everything. Must wear
 	those tight polyester or rayon pants with a spaghetti strap 
	top, with a dark colored cropped jacket. Wearing a lot of 
	makeup and she tops it all off with a snooty, snobby attitude.

c. friendly?: Not at all! Hated by other girls deeply, the overdressed
	girl is the most snobbiest of all of the girls. Why? She thinks
 	she's better than everyone else. In the way she dresses, in 
	the way she looks, in the way she walks, and in the way she 
	acts. She becomes snobby to all guys and the center of
 	competition of other girls. Her goal in life? To become the
	bomb!  She always has an attitude of "Why do all these guys
	want me?" or "I'm sick of all these guys hitting on me!" When 
	in fact, she loves and craves being the center of attention. 
	She loves guys jocking her all the time. No matter who the guy
 	is, she loves the attention. She loves it when girls stare at
	her in a jealous rage. These things are her only source of 
	self-esteem.

d. materialistic?: Nope, she thinks she has everything. But really, 
	she finds herself too good to be with anyone. She just wants 
	to date someone at her level in looks. She usually dates either 
	a gangster, a racer, or some rich guy. They become her
 	accessories. She is a little heartbreaker usually treating 
	guys like shit and using them for her own purposes (cars, 
	rides, money, gifts).

e. other attributes:
	-First and foremost, she is the girl that takes too long in the
		bathroom. You know when you go out with friends. And 	
	everyone  goes to the bathroom, well she goes in first 
		and comes out last.  When she does come out it's already 
		been twenty minutes.
	-Always wanting to be the center of attention, she physically
 		places herself in the middle of every group picture.
	-Always placing attention on herself, she puts on little acts 
		to try to get guys immediate attention. This is her only
 		source of self-esteem  besides her looks.


4. The backstabber!

a. usually seen at: Talking shit behind people's backs. At parties and
	clubs. At the usual pool hall. Also at college clubs and
 	organizations.

b. usually wearing: The usual filipina gear, the tight pants or the
	sundresses, or the Tommy Hilfiger, Nautica and Polo stuff. The
 	difference is that all the clothes she has are not hers, 
	they're all borrowed. And she never contacts anyone wanting to
 	return them.

c. friendly?: Only if you have something she wants. If you have
 	something to offer to her, she will love you. Things like 
	money, cars, free dinners, free tickets to Disneyland,
 	connections to discounts and anything materialistic.  If you 
	have it, she will certainly put on the act to try to make you 
	do her will. Really can put on the cutesy voice mail voice. 
	Acts nice to everyone but when you speak to her one on one she
 	really can talk up the shit. She has the foulest mouth of all 
	the girls, worse than the gangster girl.  Will even make up 
	lies to put people down and to move herself up in the 
	popularity ladder.

d. materialistic?: Extremely, but she never admits it. Will only show
	her shallowness in her actions. Her choice of guys is much 
	like the pretty girl, she wants a rich, handsome and nice-car
 	driving guy that she can use to give her money, gifts, and 
	popularity over other girls.

e. other attributes:
	-When you meet her, for the first two months, she'll be cool 
		with you.  But when she gets tired with you or when the
 		"new" and "cooler" group of peeps come in her life, she
 		will ditch you, no doubt.
	-She is a low-maintenace girl who believes she is high
		maintenace.
	-She moves from guy to guy with reckless abandon. Like a locust,
 		she moves from one guy to another, using them for all 
		that they are worth.
	-Then when she doesn't need them anymore, she throws them away
 		and goes for the next one.
	-Be careful of this one.


5. The kind, sweet, simple girl

a. usually seen at: At school studying, at the beach, having fun wit
	friends, at work or at home studying.

b. usually wearing: Doesn't matter. Doesn't dress up too much or dress
	down either. Always looks decent. Knows how to dress up for the
 	occassion.  Somedays she looks like the girl next door and
 	somedays she looks like a princess.

c. friendly?: Very, very, very. It's not that she's friendly, she
 	honest, modest, and sweet. A great listener who empathizes 
	well. Really kind and gentle and always knows the right words to
 	say. She will always pick you up when you're feeling down.

d. materialistic?: Simply, no. All she wants to do is give her time 
	and effort to you. Doesn't matter who you are, she's there for
 	you. So you gotta be obligated to be there for her.

e. other attributes:
	-A smart girl who understand people well. Not ashamed to drop
 		down a "level" and talk to someone in need of a friend.
	-Does she exist? I hope so. I've seen girls like this but some 
		of them have disappointed me.
	-And sometimes, isn't it ironic when a nice girl like this 
		dates the biggest asshole. It always seems to happen.
	-But if you're out there, kind, sweet girl, here's my email 
		address! nospam@juno.com


[]  Rejected catagories (They just missed the list.):
1. The actress/singer/model...well, that's everyone, maybe?
2. The fat girl who seems to know everybody
3. The bitchy girl that has a job at the bank.
4. The clubber/nymphomaniac.
5. The blue-haired alternative girl.
6. The ugly girl who thinks she's fine.







Back to Lori's Humor Page