Starr Subpoenas 500-Year-Old Inca Mummy

	After being reminded by the new book "Spin Cycle" that President Clinton
	once said if he were single he would ask her out, independent counsel
	Ken Starr subpoenaed the 500-year-old Inca mummy Clinton referred to in
	1996 after viewing it at a National Geographic exhibit in Washington.
	The extraordinarily well-preserved mummy, known as "Juanta" had been
	discovered in Peru.  Clinton, speaking at a fund-raiser at the time,
	said, "If I were single, I'd ask that mummy out.  That's one good
	looking mummy."

	Starr said that it was appropriate as part of his Whitewater
	investigation to explore all possible relationships the president may
	have had with women and later coached to deny.  "We have reason to
	believe that mummy received special treatment and a possible job offer
	from Revlon for her silence," Starr said.
	Assisting in the appearance of the mummy in front of the grand jury in
	Washington will be five of the independent counsel's toughest
	interrogators.  "We believe the White House has been orchestrating the
	witnesses to maintain a code of silence but we intend to break this
	one," one of Starr's prosecutors said privately.

Back to Lori's Humor Page