How to Interpret a Resume

	I used to claim that I didn't write fiction. Then I started helping
	people with their resumes. So this is for anyone in HR who has to
	read the darned things.

	Term:           What it really means:
        ----            --------------------

	Bright          Wears lots of yellow and red (usually together)

	Intelligent     Got a gold star for spelling in first grade

	Computer-       Knows the difference between a mouse and a terminal

	Great           Fired from his last job for telling the boss exactly
	communicator    what he thought of him

	Detail-         Will spend eight hours perfecting a 2-minute job

	Sees the        Hasn't got a clue about how to do the work required
	big picture     to get to the big picture

	Prompt          First one out the door at quitting time
	Hard working    For at least at ten minutes a day

	Conscientious   Knows EXACTLY how much sick time and holiday time
	                he has left

	Friendly        Watch out for attractive members of your staff

	Honest          Gossips

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