JCN's Top 12 Ways the Republicans can capture the Jewish vote

  

	12. Appoint Vice President Jack Kemp as Secretary of West Bank Housing

	11. Promise to reduce waiting between Fleishig and Milchig to 5 hours

	10. Remind Americans that Bob Dole knew Theodor Herzl personally

	9. Promise that purge of liberal Hollywood will not harm good Jews

	8. Get circumcized

	7. Enforce moment of silence in American synagogues

	6.  Enforce moment of silence for Michael Lerner
	
	5. Change Abortion to A Borscht in the platform

	4. Merge with Likud party in Israel with the new
	   organization to be called the Re-kud party

	3. Stop wearing yarmulkes

	2. Make Ariel Sharon the 51st State

	1. Offer wrestling match to the death between Bill Bennett and Michael Lerner



The JCN Top 12 List is a regular feature of the Jewish Communication Network, www.jcn18.com. Circulating this list without attribution and our URL deprives your friends of the chance to sample our humor for themselves.



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