Religion as Baseball


 	Calvinists believe the game is fixed.

 	Lutherans believe they can't win, but trust the Scorekeeper.

 	Natives circle the bases.

 	Hindus go around the bases many, many times before reaching home.

 	Materialists think the diamond is forever.

 	Anglicans gave the Catholics a reign check.  (Hint: Henry VIII)

 	Quakers won't swing.

 	Orthodox Christians always have a no-hitter: They turn the other cheek.

 	Unitarians can catch anything.

 	Amish walk a lot.

 	Pagans sacrifice.

 	Jehovah's Witnesses are thrown out often.

 	Televangelists get caught stealing.

 	Episcopalians pass the plate.

 	Evangelicals make effective pitches.

 	Fundamentalists balk.

 	Mormon teams sign on all their relatives.

 	Baha'is think everyone should play.

 	Communists are out in left field.

 	Buddhists don't believe anyone is keeping score.

 	Taoists think the rules are restrictive.

 	When Catholics steal a base, they have to go to confession after the
 	     	game.

 	The Lions couldn't touch Daniel leaving the Jews up one.

 	Adventists have a seventh-inning stretch.

 	Atheists refuse to have an Umpire.

 	Sabeans are stuck on first base.

 	Baptists want to play hardball.

 	Premillenialists expect the game to be called soon on account 
 	   	of eternal darkness.

 	Catholics make a shortstop in purgatory before sliding into home.

 	The Pope claims never to have committed an error.

 	Jews in general are waiting for wholesale tickets.

 	Law & Order crowd believes ...three strikes and you're in.








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