Code of Ethical Patient Behavior -- Version 2
OK, We all go the doctor for our aches, pains worries and some of us just
to have someone to listen to our problems. Guess What, doctors are human
too, so here are is a guide of what to do and not to do
Code of Ethical Patient Behavior
(The Patient's "HYPOCRATIC" Code")
1. DO NOT EXPECT YOUR DOCTOR TO SHARE YOUR DISCOMFORT
They've already heard it before. Just sit back and take the pain
2. BE CHEERFUL AT ALL TIMES
If you make your doctors unhappy, they might just make a slip
with the needle as they are inserting it into your butt.
3. TRY TO SUFFER FROM THE DISEASE FOR WHICH YOU ARE BEING TREATED
Remember that your doctor has a professional reputation to uphold.
It wouldn't look to good if you are smiling when the medical books
indicate you should be wincing
4. IT'S STILL SEXUAL HARRASSMENT
Even if you're babes, your sustained and repeated come-ons to
pay in "trade" are still harrassment.
5. NEVER ASK YOUR DOCTOR TO EXPLAIN WHAT HE IS DOING OR WHY HE IS DOING
Hey, 4 years of medical school, 4 - 7 years in residency and another
one or two in fellowships have already made it impossible for your
doctorto speak normal English anyway.
6. SUBMIT TO NOVEL EXPERIMENTAL TREATMENT READILY
Though the surgery may not benefit you directly, the resulting
research paper will surely be of widespread interest, and you
might even become famous in a medical textbook, or if you really
complain enough, have a procedure named after you.
7. PAY YOUR MEDICAL BILLS PROMPTLY AND WILLINGLY
See #2, Keep you doctor happy..
8. NEVER DIE WHILE IN YOUR DOCTOR'S PRESENCE OR UNDER HIS DIRECT CARE
Really bad form
9. THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR SMELLING LIKE THAT... YES WE DO SMELL YOU...
TAKE A BATH
Your treatment room can't be used for others for the rest of
the day and you almost killed the doctor.
10. FARTING IS NOT "NATURAL AND ORDINARY" JUST CAUSE YOU'RE WITH A DOCTOR
You may likely be told you need a referral to a "specialist" .
11. IT TURNS OUT THE NURSES DO NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU
It's a shame but true...