Code of Ethical Patient Behavior -- Version 2



OK, We all go the doctor for our aches, pains worries and some of us just
to have someone to listen to our problems. Guess What, doctors are human
too, so here are is a guide of what to do and not to do

    Code of Ethical Patient Behavior
  (The Patient's "HYPOCRATIC" Code")

1. DO NOT EXPECT YOUR DOCTOR TO SHARE YOUR DISCOMFORT
   They've already heard it before. Just sit back and take the pain

2. BE CHEERFUL AT ALL TIMES
   If you make your doctors unhappy, they might just make a slip
   with the needle as they are inserting it into your butt.

3. TRY TO SUFFER FROM THE DISEASE FOR WHICH YOU ARE BEING TREATED
   Remember that your doctor has a professional reputation to uphold.
   It wouldn't look to good if you are smiling when the medical books
   indicate you should be wincing

4. IT'S STILL SEXUAL HARRASSMENT
   Even if you're babes, your sustained and repeated come-ons to 
   pay in "trade" are still harrassment.

5. NEVER ASK YOUR DOCTOR TO EXPLAIN WHAT HE IS DOING OR WHY HE IS DOING
   Hey, 4 years of medical school, 4 - 7 years in residency and another
   one or two in fellowships have already made it impossible for your 
   doctorto speak normal English anyway.

6. SUBMIT TO NOVEL EXPERIMENTAL TREATMENT READILY
   Though the surgery may not benefit you directly, the resulting 
   research paper will surely be of widespread interest, and you 
   might even become famous in a medical textbook, or if you really 
   complain enough, have a procedure named after you.

7. PAY YOUR MEDICAL BILLS PROMPTLY AND WILLINGLY
   See #2, Keep you doctor happy..

8. NEVER DIE WHILE IN YOUR DOCTOR'S PRESENCE OR UNDER HIS DIRECT CARE
   Really bad form

9. THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR SMELLING LIKE THAT... YES WE DO SMELL YOU... 
   TAKE A BATH
   Your treatment room can't be used for others for the rest of
   the day and you almost killed the doctor.

10. FARTING IS NOT "NATURAL AND ORDINARY" JUST CAUSE YOU'RE WITH A DOCTOR
    You may likely be told you need a referral to a "specialist" .
     
11. IT TURNS OUT THE NURSES DO NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU
    It's a shame but true...







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