Trash the Exam

The New York Post reports that 25,000 people will take this year's
multiple choice written test to be New York City sanitation workers.
Thanks to highly placed sources, we've obtained a couple of sample
questions from this exam:
1. When collecting trash in a residential neighborhood on the midnight to
   8 AM shift, you must:

   a) Test the strength of each metal trash can by banging it against the
      truck several times before emptying it.

   b) Frequently toot the air horn so that your employers -- the taxpayers
      -- know you're hard at work, while they're lazily trying to sleep.

   c) As a courtesy to those taxpayers who own motor vehicles, gently
      bump each parked car, so as to make sure its alarm is set
      sensitively enough to discourage theft.

   d) All the above.

2. When collecting trash between the hours of 8 AM and 6 PM, when city
   traffic is busiest, you must:

   a) Stop your truck in such a way that it blocks the entire street, so
      that no innocent scattering rats are hit by passing cars

   b) Work quickly and efficiently, unless a vehicle is stuck behind you,
      in which case slow down as much as possible, as said blocked driver
      may not be a municipal employee, and thus might need time to relax,
      as he or she is probably working too hard.

   c) Under no circumstances make eye contact with or otherwise
      acknowledge the existence of a blocked driver, as that would pierce
      the veil of anonymity that all New Yorkers cherish and don't want
      violated by a mere civil servant.

   d) All the above

(The answers to the above 2 sample questions are d) and d) -- which are
the grades most applicants received in school, which explains why
they're applying to be sanitation workers.)

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