New Slant on Seders

    

     To learn more about the latest seder trends, The New York Times
     called upon Fran Lebowitz, the New York writer and popular party
     guest.

     Q. It's a contradiction in terms, but what modern traditions are
     people introducing to their seders this year?

     A. I have no idea. I've gone to the same family seder for 47 years
     and I still haven't gotten seated at the adult table yet. My little
     cousins have to fight me for the Afikomen.

     Q. Interesting new dishes?

     A. No. It's entirely possible that in the early fifties, a very
     large brisket was delivered to our family and we're still eating
     it. We not only have the same food, we have the same conversation.

     I don't go anywhere else for holidays but to my family. I went to
     London for one holiday when I was in my 20s, and now it's mentioned
     at Passover as a plague -- 'The Year Fran Went to London.' That's
     the one between locusts and blood.

     Q. So you've never heard of the new symbols, like the orange on the
     seder plate?

     A. What's that supposed to stand for -- Florida?

     Q. So nothing changes in your family seder?

     A. My cousins in Israel have different melodies -- the wrong ones.
     They're the cheerier Jews. All Jewish melodies should be in a
     mournful key. I mean, if you're going to be cheerful, you might as
     well be Episcopalian.

     Q. Do you ever have non-Jews at your seder?

     A. Sometimes, but I don't like it because then the seder takes too
     long. Everyone feels they have to explain.

     Q. So there is nothing liberating for you about the seder?

     A. How freeing can it be to have to get to Poughkeepsie by 6 p.m.?
                      






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