Abdicate--v., to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Balderdash--n., a rapidly receding hairline.
Bustard--n., a very rude Metrobus driver.
Carcinoma--n., a valley in California, notable for its heavy smog.
Circumvent--n., the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
Coffee--n., a person who is coughed upon.
Esplanade--v., to attempt an explanation while drunk.
Flabbergasted--adj., appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Flatulence--n., the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are
run over by a steamroller.
Gargoyle--n., an olive-flavored mouthwash.
Internet--n., the web of interns in which Ken Starr has tried to snare
Lymph--v., to walk with a lisp.
Macadam--n., the first man on Earth, according to the Scottish bible.
Marionettes--n., residents of Washington, DC, who have been jerked
around by the mayor.
Negligent--adj., describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer
the door in your nightie.
Oyster--n., a person who sprinkles his or her conversation with Yiddish
Rectitude--n., the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist
immediately before he or she examines you.
Semantics--n., pranks conducted by young men studying for the priesthood,
including such things as gluing the pages of the priest's prayer
book together just before vespers.
Testicle--n., a humorous question on an exam.