New Defintions

	Abdicate--v., to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

	Balderdash--n., a rapidly receding hairline.

	Bustard--n., a very rude Metrobus driver.

	Carcinoma--n., a valley in California, notable for its heavy smog.

	Circumvent--n., the opening in the  front of boxer shorts.

	Coffee--n., a person who is coughed upon.

	Esplanade--v., to attempt an explanation while drunk.

	Flabbergasted--adj., appalled over how much weight you have gained.

	Flatulence--n., the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are
		run over by a steamroller.

	Gargoyle--n., an olive-flavored mouthwash.

	Internet--n., the web of interns in which Ken Starr has tried to snare
		Bill  Clinton.

	Lymph--v., to walk with a lisp.

	Macadam--n., the first man on Earth, according to the Scottish bible.

	Marionettes--n., residents of Washington, DC, who have been jerked 
		around by the mayor.

	Negligent--adj., describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer
		the door in your nightie.

	Oyster--n., a person who sprinkles his or her conversation with Yiddish

	Rectitude--n., the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist
		immediately before he or she examines you.

	Semantics--n., pranks conducted by young men studying for the priesthood,
		including such things as gluing the pages of the priest's prayer 
		book together just before vespers.

	Testicle--n., a humorous question on an exam.

	Willy-nilly--adj., impotent.

Back to Lori's Humor Page