I believe it was Jerry Seinfeld who said once that "couples who 
	are dating" should never be allowed in public.  They embarass 
	themselves and make everyone else sick.  

	Excerpts from a "new" couple's life:



	Anne to her female friend:  "Oh, Becky, you just wouldn't believe the 
		phone conversations we have!  He's sooooo romantic.  He actually 
		*hangs up on me*!  It proves he loves me soooo much!"
	Becky:  "What?"
	Anne (exasperated by her friend's ignorance), "You know!  When you get to 
		the part about having to hang up and neither of you wants to do it 
		because it's like cutting off your arm!  So Ralph tells me that 
		*he'll* hang up and spare *me* the pain of doing it!  It's soooooo 
		romantic!"



	Ralph to his friend Bubba:  "Man, you should have seen the little thing 
		she was wearing that night.  It was little micro black skirt which 
		was slit right up to heaven.  And her blouse was unbuttoned right to 
		her belly button."
	"Jeeez, I'd like to have caught a shot of that!"
	"WHAT??  You *look* at my girlfriend and I'll kick your ass!"



	Anne and Ralph got back from lunch five minutes ago and she calls him on 
	the phone.

	Anne to Ralph on the phone:  "Oh, Ralph, I miss you so much.  I love you so much!  
		It's like we've been apart for years."
	"I love you, too, honey.  God, I miss you so much.  I can't stand this being apart.  
		I can't wait to be in your arms again."
	"Ralphie-Walphie, love, you do know we're in adjoining  cubicles.  We *could* just 
		get up and meet by the copy  machine . . . "
	"Sweetie-pie, honey-bunch, snookums, devil-vixen girl, I would love to snuggle next 
		to your cute 'wittle' buns by the copy machine, my 'wittle' foxy-woxy, 
		cutey-pooty."
	:  "Jesus -- you two just go back to the supply room and 
		screw, would ya???"



	Card sent by Anne to Ralph.  On the front of the card it has a picture of a pretty 
	girl.  The text:  "Sweetheart, I love to hold your hand . . ."  

	On the inside:  "That way I can jerk you like a slingshot when I see you look at 
	another girl."



	Card sent by Ralph to Anne:  On the front of the card is a drawing of a rugged 
	fella.  Text:  "Honey, I'd climb the highest mountain, swim the deepest ocean, cross 
	the hottest desert for you!"

	On the inside:  "I think that deserves some sex, don't you?"