Language Barriers

	  Since the "Cold War" was over, a squadron of Russian pilots
	  were invited to participate in tactical war games at a US Air
	  Force base. A gala dinner was planned by the Base Commander.

	  Thinking to relax the guests, he offered a WW II toast to
	  open the meal.  Smiling, he lifted his glass and said, "Eat,
	  drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may die." in Russian.

	  The Russian pilots became very quiet and they hardly ate;
	  most left quite early. Thinking they didn't care for the food,
	  the Commander asked a Russian pilot what went wrong.

	  "Well, comrade commander," he said, "I thought it was going
	  well until your toast.  I don't know what you were meaning to
	  say, but what came out was 'Feast, drink and make happy, for
	  tomorrow we will kill you'."

                                - - - - -

	  A middle aged American, his face drawn in moderate anguish,
	  came charging down the Berlin banquet hall corridor, and saw
	  another American. He took him by the shoulder and gasped, "For
	  Heaven's sake, I gotta go to the bathroom.  Tell me quick, am I
	  a Damen or a Harren ?"

                                - - - - -

	  A Cuban was in a Miami classroom reading from a Hans Christian
	  Anderson book.  "Teacher ?" asked the little girl, "Please, does
	  m-i-r-a-g-e spell marriage ?"

	  "No my child." sighed the teacher, "But it should... it should."

	                        - - - - -

	  A high ranking official from the Clinton Administration was
	  invited to speak at a banquet tendered by the Don Q Rum Corp.
	  in Puerto Rico.  The man delivered his speech nobly, but for
	  one fatal flaw.  He persisted in referring to his hosts as the
	  "makers of that wonderful Bacardi rum".

	  Every time he mentioned the competing name "Bacardi", an
	  official from Don Q would jump up and correct him saying, "Don
	  Q, senor, Don Q !"

	  The smiling aide would answer, "You're welcome".

Back to Lori's Humor Page