Independence Day Quiz

by Mark Russell

	1. Exactly what did occur on July 4, 1776?

		a. Strom Thurmond graduated from high school.
		b. The Whitewater investigation began.
		c. The movie "Independence Day" opened in Philadelphia.

	2. Why the animosity between us and the British?

		a. They forced the game of cricket on us. (Cricket being baseball 
			on Quaaludes.)
		b. After we had sold them tons of tobacco, they read the Surgeon
			General's report.

	3. Why did the colonists sigh the Declaration of Independence on the Fourth
		of July?

		a. It was a holiday, and there was very little traffic.

		b. The Phillies were on a road trip.

	4. Were they in favor of capital punishment?

		a. By all means.  Especially for smart -- newspaper writers who
			trivialize history.

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