Preserving the Egg of Life

	Obviously, Football is a syndrome of religious rites symbolizing the
	struggle to preserve the Egg of Life through the rigors of impending
	winter.  The rites begin at the Autumn Equinox and culminate on the
	first day of the New Year, with great festivals identified with bowls
	of plenty.  The festivals are associated with flowers such as roses;
	fruits such as oranges; farm crops such as cotton; and even sun-worship
	and appeasement of great reptiles such as alligators.

	In these rites, the Egg of Life is symbolized by what is called
	"The Oval", an inflated bladder covered with hog skin.  The convention
	of "The Oval" is repeated in the architectural oval-shaped design of
	the vast outdoor churches in which the services are held every sabbath
	in every town and city.  Also every Sunday in the greater centers of
	population where an advanced priesthood performs.  These enormous
	churches dominate every college campus; no other edifice compares in
	size with them, and they bear witness to the high spiritual development
	of the culture that produced them.

	Literally millions of worshipers attend the sabbath services in these
	open-air churches.  Subconsciously, these hordes are seeking an outlet
	from sexual frustration in anticipation of violent masochism and sadism
	about to be enacted by a highly trained priesthood of young men.  Football
	obviously arises out of the Oedipus complex.  Love of mother dominates
	the entire ritual.  (Notre Dame and Football are synonymous).

	The rites are preformed on a green rectangular area  orientated to the
	four directions.  The green area, symbolizing Summer, is striped with
	ominous white lines representing the knifing snows of Winter.  The
	white stripes are repeated in the ceremonial costumes of the four
	whistling monitors who control the services through a time period
	divided into four quarters, symbolizing the four Seasons.

	The ceremony begins with colorful processions of musicians and semi-nude
	virgins who move in and out of ritualized patterns.  This excites the
	thousands of worshipers to rise from their seats, shout frenzied poetry
	in unison and chant ecstatic anthems through which runs the Oedipus
	theme of willingness to die for the love of mother.
	The actual rites, performed by 22 young priests of perfect physique,
	might appear to the uninitiated as a chaotic conflict concerned only
	with hurting the Oval by kicking it, then endeavoring to rescue and
	protect the Egg.
	However, the procedure is highly stylized.  On each side there are
	eleven young men wearing colorful and protective costumes.  The group
	in so-called "possession" of the Oval first arrange themselves in an
	egg-shaped "huddle," as it is called, for a moment of prayerful
	meditation and whispering of secret numbers to each other.
	Then they rearrange themselves with relation to the position of the
	Egg.  In a typical "formation" there are seven priests "on the line,"
	seven being a mystical number associated not, as Jung purists might
	contend, with the "seven last words" but actually, with sublimation
	of the "seven deadly sins" into "the seven cardinal principles of
	The central priest crouches over the Egg, protecting it with his
	hands, while over his back quarters hovers the "Quarterback."  The
	transposition of "back quarters" to "quarterback" is easily
	explained by the Adler School.  To the layman the curious posture
	assumed by the "Quarterback," as he hovers over the central priest,
	immediately suggests the Cretan origins of Mycenaean animal art,
	but this popular view is untenable.  Actually, of course, the
	"quarter-back" symbolizes the libido, combining two instincts,
	namely, a) Eros, which strives for even closer union, and b) the
	instinct for destruction of anything which lies in the path of Eros.
	Moreover, the "pleasure-pain" excitement of the hysterical
	worshipers focuses entirely on the actions of the libido-quarter-back.
	Behind him are three priests representing the male triad.
	At a given signal, the Egg is passed by sleight-of-hand to one of
	the members of the triad who endeavors to move it by bodily force
	across the white lines of Winter.  This procedure up and down the
	enclosure, continues through the four quarters of the ritual.
	At the end of the second quarter, implying the Summer Slostice, the
	processions of musicians and semi-nude virgins are resumed.  After
	forming themselves into pictograms representing alphabetical and
	animal fetishes, the virgins perform a most curious rite requiring
	far more dexterity than the earlier phallic Maypole rituals from
	which it seems to be derived.  Each of the virgins carries a wand
	of shining metal which she spins on her fingertips, tosses playfully
	into the air, and with which she interweaves her body in most
	intricate gyrations.
	The virgins perform another important function throughout the entire
	service.  This concerns the mystical rite of "conversion" following
	success of one of the young priests in carrying the Oval across the
	last white line of Winter.  As the moment of "conversion" approaches,
	the virgins kneel at the edge of the rectangle, bury their faces in
	the earth, then raise their arms to heaven in supplication, praying
	that "the uprights will be split."  "Conversion" is indeed a
	dedicated ceremony.

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