Doggie Pledge

	I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.

	I will not burn rubber through the open car window and into the fast 
	food restaurant, no matter how good it smells.

	The computer's mouse is, unlike a real mouse, inedible.

	I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of carpet in the 
	house when I am about to throw up.

	I will not throw up in the car.

	I will scootch my bottom along the grass to rid myself of hangers-on.
	I will not steal used sanitary napkins from the bathroom garbage.

	I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.

	I will not eat other animals' poop.

	I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.

	I will not roll my head around in other animals' poop. "Kitty box 
	crunchies" are not food.

	I will not eat any more socks and then re-deposit them in the backyard
	after processing.

	The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

	I will not eat the disposable diapers, especially the dirty ones.

	I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose up her bottom end.

	I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.

	I will not chew crayons or pens, 'specially not the red ones, or my people
	will think I am hemorrhaging.

	When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when
	it's raining outside.

	I will not drop soggy tennis balls in the underwear of someone who is
	sitting on the toilet.

	We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.

	I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard  
	with it.

	The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.

	My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

	I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's
	license and car registration.

	I will not play tug-o'-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

	I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the 
	coffee table.

	I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.

	The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

	I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE I come into the house

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