Things You Never Hear in Church

	1. Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew.

	2. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes
		over time.

	3. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.

	4. I've decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to
		TV evangelists.

	5. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday
		School class.

	6. Forget the denominational minimum salary, let's pay our pastor so
		he can live like we do.

	7. I love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before!

	8. Since we're all here, let's start the service early.

	9. Pastor, we'd like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.

	10. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual
		stewardship campaign!

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