Breaking Up is Hard to Do
ACCOUNTING: Unable to count on each other, one threatens to
jump off a ledger due to sensing a lack of
ANATOMY: "I never liked your body anyway."
ARCHAEOLOGY: One tries to bury the past, and accuses the
other of trying to dig it up.
ARCHITECTURE: "There just wasn't much to build on anyway..."
BIOLOGY: "You just wanted to get in my genes!"
BUSINESS: Both take stock of their relationship, and then
calculate that they're spending way too much
time and money together given the future value of
their staying together.
CHEMISTRY: Unable to bond, they resort to drinking
COMPUTING: He wanted plug-n-play, but she saw a window of
opportunity in a bit of interfacing with eunuchs.
COUNSELING: Each urges the other to "get help!"
ECONOMICS: One party demands more than the other can supply.
EDUCATION: Both concede that the relationship was a
E. ENGINEER.: "It's just so shocking... I'm sure
there are positives and negatives, but..." [okay,
yes, I know you're groaning ;-)]
ENGLISH: Each writes the other a perfect breakup letter,
complete with introduction, thesis, body, and
conclusion, that doesn't really say anything
GEOGRAPHY: Both people decide to simply move far away to
avoid each other.
GEOLOGY: Although both felt the earth move under their
feet initially, both later express the
sendiments that the relationship was rocky at the
foundation, and slated for a volcanic eruption.
GERMAN: It was the best of relationships, it was the
wurst of relationships.
HISTORY: Each party argues the breakup was caused by
something the other party did in the past.
ITALIAN: "Mama Mia!"
JEWISH STUDIES: "OY! You should feel so guilty!"
JOURNALISM: "Today was the end of an era. Jack, 19, and
Jill, 18, called an end to their relationship of
LAW: They sue each other for breach of a pre-dating
MUSIC: Each utilizes an operatic lament (or, in
Tennessee, a country song) to express his or her
PHILOSOPHY: If 2 people break up in a dorm and there's no
one to witness the breakup, are they really
PHYS. ED.: Despite her bad track record, he put the
ball in her court, but she dropped the ball,
didn't go the extra mile, and he ended up
sitting on the side lines o' love.
PHYSICS: Both resign themselves to the fact that what
goes up must come down.
PSYCHOLOGY: Girl accuses guy of just using her as a
substitute for his Mother.
RELIGION: Each prays for reconcilliation and/or curses God
SOCIOLOGY: Each claims to have been oppressed in the
THEATRE: "OH MY GOD! Life is... ENDED... as we KNOW it!"
WOMEN'S STUDIES: "HE did it!"
ZOOLOGY: They were able to mate like banshees, but lacked
sophisticated communication skills.