Breaking Up is Hard to Do

	ACCOUNTING:    Unable to count on each other, one threatens to
	               jump off a ledger due to sensing a lack of

	ANATOMY:      "I never liked your body anyway."

	ARCHAEOLOGY:   One tries to bury the past, and accuses the
	               other of trying to dig it up.

	ARCHITECTURE: "There just wasn't much to build on anyway..."
	BIOLOGY:      "You just wanted to get in my genes!"

	BUSINESS:      Both take stock of their relationship, and then
	               calculate that they're spending way too much
	               time and money together given the future value of
	               their staying together.

	CHEMISTRY:     Unable to bond, they resort to drinking

	COMPUTING:     He wanted plug-n-play, but she saw a window of
	               opportunity in a bit of interfacing with eunuchs.

	COUNSELING:    Each urges the other to "get help!"
	ECONOMICS:     One party demands more than the other can supply.

	EDUCATION:     Both concede that the relationship was a
	               learning experience.

	E. ENGINEER.: "It's just so shocking... I'm sure
	               there are positives and negatives, but..." [okay,
	               yes, I know you're groaning ;-)]

	ENGLISH:       Each writes the other a perfect breakup letter,
	               complete with introduction, thesis, body, and
	               conclusion, that doesn't really say anything
	               substantively intelligible.

	GEOGRAPHY:     Both people decide to simply move far away to
	               avoid each other.

	GEOLOGY:       Although both felt the earth move under their
	               feet initially, both later express the
	               sendiments that the relationship was rocky at the
	               foundation, and slated for a volcanic eruption.

	GERMAN:        It was the best of relationships, it was the
	               wurst of relationships.

	HISTORY:       Each party argues the breakup was caused by
	               something the other party did in the past.

	ITALIAN:       "Mama Mia!"

	JEWISH STUDIES: "OY!  You should feel so guilty!"

	JOURNALISM:   "Today was the end of an era.  Jack, 19, and
	               Jill, 18, called an end to their relationship of
	               2 weeks..."

	LAW:           They sue each other for breach of a pre-dating
	MUSIC:         Each utilizes an operatic lament (or, in
	               Tennessee, a country song) to express his or her
	PHILOSOPHY:    If 2 people break up in a dorm and there's no
	               one to witness the breakup, are they really

	PHYS. ED.:     Despite her bad track record, he put the
	               ball in her court, but she dropped the ball,
	               didn't go the extra mile, and he ended up
	               sitting on the side lines o' love.

	PHYSICS:       Both resign themselves to the fact that what
	               goes up must come down.

	PSYCHOLOGY:    Girl accuses guy of just using her as a
	               substitute for his Mother.

	RELIGION:      Each prays for reconcilliation and/or curses God
	SOCIOLOGY:     Each claims to have been oppressed in the

	THEATRE:      "OH MY GOD!  Life is... ENDED... as we KNOW it!"

	WOMEN'S STUDIES:  "HE did it!"

	ZOOLOGY:       They were able to mate like banshees, but lacked
	               sophisticated communication skills.

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