The Bachelor Diet



	Monday
	
	Breakfast - Who can eat breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste 
		while brushing your teeth
	Lunch - Send your secretary out for six "gutbombers".  Those little
		hamburgers that used to cost a dime, but now cost sixty five cents.
		Also order French fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and have 
		her stop on the way back for a family size bottle of maalox.
	Afternoon Snack - Drink the maalox
	Dinner - Six pack of beer and Kentucky fried chicken three-piece dinner.
		Don't eat the coleslaw.
	
	
	Tuesday
	
	Breakfast - Eat the coleslaw
	Lunch - Go to the office vending machine and put ninety five cents in
		and close your eyes, push a button and eat whatever comes out 
		swallowing it whole to prevent nausea.
	Dinner - Four tacos and a pitcher of Sangria at El Flasho's.

	
	
	Wednesday
	
	Breakfast - Jaws couldn't eat breakfast after a night at El Flasho's
	Lunch - Rolaids and a coke
	Dinner - Drop in at a married friend's house and beg for scraps
	

	
	Thursday
	
	Breakfast - Order out for pizza
	Lunch - Your secretary is out sick. Check Mondays gutbomber sack for
		leftovers.
	Dinner - Go to a bar and drink yourself silly. When you get hungry ask
		the bartender for olives.
	
	

	Friday
	
	Breakfast - Eggs, sausage, and an English muffin at McDonalds. Eat the
		styrofoam plate and leave the food. It tastes better and it's 
		better for you.
	Lunch - Skip Lunch, Fridays are murder
	Dinner - Well-done steak, baked potato and asparagus. Don't eat the
		asparagus. Nobody really likes asparagus.
	


	Saturday
	
	Breakfast - Sleep through it.
	Lunch - Ditto
	Dinner - Well done steak, baked potato, and brussel sprouts. Don't eat
		the Brussel Sprouts. Take them home and plant them in a hanging 
		basket.
	

	Sunday

	Breakfast - Three Bloody Marys and half a Twinkie.
	Lunch - Eat Lunch? Waste a good buzz? Don't eat Lunch.
	Dinner - Chicken noodle soup - Call your mom and ask her about renting
		your old room.






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