If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
     If you don't, you are not a man
     If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
     If you don't, you are good for nothing
     If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp
     If you don't, you are not understanding
     If you visit her often, she thinks it is boring
     If you don't, she accuses you of double-crossing
     If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
     If you aren't, you are a dull boy
     If you are jealous, she says it's bad
     If you aren't, she thinks you do not love her
     If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her
     If you don't, she thinks you do not like her
     If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait
     If she is late, she says that's a girl's way
     If you visit another man, you're not putting in "quality time" If
     she is visited by another woman, "oh it's natural, we are girls"
     If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold If
     you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking advantage If
     you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics If
     you do, she thinks it's just one of men's tactics for seduction
     If you stare at another woman, she accuses you of flirting If she
     is stared by other men, she says that they are just admiring If
     you talk, she wants you to listen If you listen, she wants you to

     In short:

     So simple, yet so complex
     So weak, yet so powerful
     So confusing, yet so desirable
     So damning, yet so wonderful.....WOMEN!

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