What is an American?
We yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the last
dime we have to make the down payment on a car.
We whip the enemy in battle, then give them the shirt off our backs.
We yell for speed laws that will stop fast driving, then won't buy a
car if it can't go over 100 miles an hour.
Americans get scared to death if we vote a billion dollars for education,
then are unconcerned when we find out we are spending three billion
dollars a year for cigarettes.
We know the line-up of every baseball team in the American and
National Leagues but don't know half the words in the "Star Spangled
We'll spend half a day looking for vitamin pills to make us live
longer, then drive 90 miles an hour on slick pavement to make up for
We tie up our dog while letting our sixteen year old son run wild.
We will work hard on a farm so we can move into town where we can make
more money so we can move back to the farm.
In the office we talk about baseball, shopping or fishing, but when we
are out at the game, the mall or on the lake, we talk about business.
We are the only people in the world who will pay $.50 to park our car
while eating a $.25 sandwhich.
We're the country that has more food to eat than any other country in
the world and more diets to keep us from eating it.
We run from morning to night trying to keep our earning power up with
our yearning power.
We're supposed to be the most civilized nation on earth, but
we still can't deliver payrolls without an armored car.
We have more experts on marriage than any other country in the world
and still have more divorces.
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