The TRUE Expert


  Joe was moderately successful in the career, but as he got older he was
  increasingly hampered by incredible headaches.  When his personal hygiene
  and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help.  After being
  referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor
  who solved the problem.  "The good news is I can cure your headaches."

  "The bad news is that it will require castration.  You have a very rare
  condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of
  your spine.  The pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to
  relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

  Joe was shocked and depressed.  He wondered if he has anything to live
  for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no
  choice but to go under the knife.

  When he left the hospital, his mind was clear, but he felt like he was
  missing an important part of himself.  As he walked down the street, he
  realized that he felt like a different person.  He could make a new
  beginning and live a new life.

  He walked past a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need: a
  new suit."  He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new
  suit." The salesman eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see . . .size 44
  long."

  Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"
  "It's my job."

  Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the
  mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?"

  Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure . . ."
  The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see. . .34 sleeve and . . . 16
  and a  half neck"

  Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"
  "It's my job."

  Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar
  in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?"

  Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure . . ."The salesman eyed Joe's feet and
  said, "Let's see. . .9 and a half. . . wide."

  Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?"
  "It's my job."

  Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly.  Joe walked comfortably
  around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about a new hat?" Without
  hesitating, Joe said, "Sure . . "
  The salesman eyed Joe's head and said, "Let's see. . .7 5/8."
  Joe was incredulous, "That's right, how did you know?"
  "It's my job."

  The hat fit perfectly. Joe was feeling great, when the salesman asked,
  "How about some new underwear?"

  Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure . . "The salesman stepped back,
  eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see. . size 36."

  Joe laughed, "No, I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old." The
  salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. It would press your
  testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a
  headache."







Back to Lori's Humor Page
Back to Lori's Home Page