50 Really Annoying Things About Star Trek


1.  	The only Hispanics you ever see on the Enterprise are only on landing 
	parties and are always wearing the red shirts.

2.  	That snot-nosed-punk Wesley Crusher  (of course, he pisses everybody 	off)

3.	?

4.  	Dax is a very sexy woman, but Sisko keeps calling her "old man" and that
	just ruins it for me.

5.  	There is no way in hell you can tell me that Voyager can stand up on
	those itty-bitty landing legs.

6.  	Every fourth episode has the same bad guy in different make-up.

7.  	Neelix and Kes!?   Sorry, but Kes could do much, MUCH better than that.

8.  	The way Uhura just sits there as if to say, "Gee, I can't say a word
	because I'm just a woman, and I don't know anything"

9.  	Kirk is the only Captain who every gets any on a regular basis.

10. 	The Enterprise-D gets hit a million times, Picard fires once, and the 
	Enterprise gets hit a million more times.

11. 	Why does Voyager keep stopping?  At this rate, they'll never get home.

12. 	Why doesn't Sisko pull that bug out of his butt?

13. 	...for that matter, why doesn't Tuvok?

14. 	...or McCoy?

15. 	Sulu and Chekov never do anything interesting.

16. 	Kirk, Scotty, and Uhura seem to have expanded over the years.

17. 	Wesley Crusher

18. 	Picard is a French Man with an English Accent.

19. 	They never come out with any useful action figures.

20. 	If anyone falls in love with a major crew member...  they're dog meat.

21. 	Everyone that McCoy operates on dies.

22. 	The Voyager's endless supply of shuttles

23. 	That Damned Clip-show.

24. 	When is Picard gonna pull the plug on the Holodeck?  Sure, they're 
	entertaining, but if the average Holodeck worked as well on the
	Enterprise, I wouldn't use 'em.

25. 	The Fact that Next Generation is no longer on the air.

26. 	Kirk thought he'd die on the bridge.  Actually, he died under one.

27. 	When Luaxana Troi throws herself at Picard.  I say, "Go for it Jean-	Luc!!  Have sex more than once a season!"

28. 	Why does Troi wear that tight bunny suit?  (Actually, this really 	doesn't piss me off.)

29. 	Does the Hair Club For Men no longer exist in the 24th century?

30. 	No TV in the 24th century.

31. 	Data is a technologically sophisticated android that cannot use
	contractions.

32. 	Spock can just shove his logic as far as I'm concerned.

33. 	Worf is the chief of Security, yet he can't hit squat with his phaser.

34. 	Whoopi Goldberg has played Guinan for six years and she hasn't made me
	laugh once.

35. 	Wesley "I'm smarter than you are" Crusher

36. 	When that virus invaded the Enterprise men underwent complicated pycho-
	pathic complications.  Women just got horny.

37. 	9 out of 10 episodes end with a peaceful confrontation.  COME ON! I WANT
	TO SEE BLOOD!!!

38. 	Harry Kim is too much of a brownnoser.

39. 	Technobabble.

40. 	The Defiant would be a powerful warship, if they would actually shoot
	at the bad guys!

41. 	The Voyager looks like what would happen if the Enterprise-D and
 	SeaQuest mated.

42. 	That scene in episode #023 when Kirk has his right hand on his phaser
	then the scene changes and it magically turns up in his left hand.

43. 	Nitpickers.

44. 	Come on, we all know that that's an car's air filter on LaForge's face.

45. 	The Ferengi run everything Starfleet doesn't

46. 	The Borg assimilate all sorts of aliens, yet all the Borg look alike
	
47. 	Why is the Enterprise always the only ship in range?

48. 	Who the hell made Harriman Captain of the Enterprise-B?

49. 	Kes is a babe, but she's going to be dead in 9 years so what's the 
	point?

50. 	The fact that Worf never once broke Wesley Crusher in half.







Back to Lori's Humor Page
Back to Lori's Home Page