Toy Theory of Religion



  Comparison of Religious Theory in the Late 20th Century

  Capitalism - He who dies with the most toys, wins.
  Hari Krishna - He who plays with the most toys, wins.
  Catholicism - He who denies himself the most toys, wins.
  Anglican - They were our toys first.
  Greek Orthodox - No, they were OURS first.
  Branch Davidians - He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins.
  Atheism - There is no toy maker.
  Polytheism - There are many toy makers.
  Evolutionism - The toys made themselves.
  Church of Christ, Scientist - We are the toys.
  Communism - Everyone gets the same number of toys, and you go straight to 
	hell if we catch you selling yours.
  B'Hai - All toys are just fine with us.
  Amish - Toys with batteries are surely a sin.
  Taoism - The doll is as important as the dumptruck.
  Mormonism - Every boy can have as many toys as he wants.
  Voodoo - Let me borrow that doll for a second.
  Hedonism - To heck with the rule book!? Let's play!
  Hinduism - He who plays with bags of plastic farm animals, loses.
  7th Day Adventist - He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses.
  Church of Christ - He whose toys make music, loses.
  Baptist - Once played, always played.
  Jehovah's Witnesses - He who sells the most toys door-to-door, wins.
  Pentecostalism - He whose toys can talk, wins.
  Existentialism - Toys are a figment of your imagination.
  Confucianism - Once a toy is dipped in the water, it is no longer dry.
  Non-denominationalism - We don't care where the toys came from, let's just 
	play with them.
  Agnosticism - It is not possible to know whether toys make a bit of
    	difference.







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