Rejected State Mottos

ALABAMA:            Literacy ain't everything
                    Ya want fries with dat?

ALASKA:             Come, freeze your butt off
                    Nobody Exciting Lives Here

ARIZONA:            Winter home to 150,000 snowbirds
                    It's Not the Heat, It's the Stupidity

ARKANSAS:           At least we're not Mississippi
                    More Than Kansas

CALIFORNIA:         The Bible State (Fire, Floods, Quakes and Drought)
                    The Granola State
                    Nobody's actually from here
                    Fast reloading lanes available
                    The really long state

COLORADO:           Too wimpy to cross the mountains so we stopped here
                    Squarer Than Wyoming
                    Official home of the winter ski bunny

CONNECTICUT:        Way too close to New York
                    New York City's other Suburb

DELAWARE:           You'll need a map to find us
                    The First State, But Not Much Since Then 
                    So close to Washington you can smell it

FLORIDA:            The Gunshine State
                    Elephant Graveyard; where the old Republicans
                           go to die
                    Senior citizen discounts available
                    Come, enjoy the humidity
                    The snow capital of the US
                    Come Retire With Us

GEORGIA:            Home of the Rednecks
                    Gateway to Florida
                    Confederate money welcome
                    Most Rednecks 'round These Parts

HAWAII:             Sure, we've got Interstates... drive on over
                    Book 'em Danno
                    Tom Selleck, Jack Lord, Don Ho - Paradise!
                    Come, get lai-ed
                    Ha Ha -- We're here, and You're Not!

IDAHO:              Ain't nothing here
                    We don't care if you spell potato with an "e"
                    Land of a billion "eyes"
                    The White Potato Supremacist State

ILLINOIS:           Land of the voting dead
                    We're in the Middle Somewhere
                    Gateway to Iowa

INDIANA:            Home of David Letterman
                    Bring Something to Do

IOWA:               Just east of Omaha
                    It's easy to spell
                    Captain Kirk Is Our Only Famous Son

KANSAS:             Hayfever capital of the Midwest
                    Dole slept here
                    There's no place like home
                    Ya want flat, we got flat
                    Don't Blame Us, We Voted For Dole

KENTUCKY:           Tobacco is a vegetable
                    We're all related
                    Gateway to Nashville
                    Bourbon and Horses Don't Mix

LOUISIANA:          Swim the beautiful Bayou
                    Cancer Alley's just a name, and names will
                               never hurt you
                    If the Purchase Was So Big, How Come We're 
                               So Damn small?

MAINE:              For Sale
                    You can spit on Canada from here
                    Shut Up and Eat a Lobster

MARYLAND:           If it weren't for Washington, you couldn't find us
                    We've Got DC Surrounded

MASSACHUSETTS:      Home of the young girls from Nantucket,
                                also the home of Ted Kennedy, hmmmm...
                    Boston and Cape Cod, But, That's About It

MICHIGAN:           Land of the free, home of the Buick
                    The State, not the Stupid Lake

MINNESOTA:          Not Sweden, but we try to act like it
                    Sure beats Canada
                    Land of 7,000 lakes and 3,000 man-made ponds

MISSISSIPPI:        We're lucky we can spell it
                    Why would you want to come here?
                    In more Spelling Bee's than Any Other State

MISSOURI:           Gateway to Kansas
                    Here's mine, Show Me yours
                    We're better than Illinois
                    We are NOT stubborn, just thorough

MONTANA:            Land of the Big Sky, and very little else
                    We've got lots of 10'x10' shacks in the woods
                    It's where you're wanted.
                    At least our cows are sane.

NEBRASKA:           More corn than Kansas
                    Go to Kansas, turn north
                    Where Elephants Roam the CornFields

NEVADA:             More weirdos than Alaska (warmer too)
                    2 words - Death Valley
                    3:5 you'll leave broke
                    We have our own nuclear testing site
                    Waiting for California to Fall Into the Ocean

NEW HAMPSHIRE:      Like Old Hampshire, only newer
                    About as exciting as Vermont
                    We're Just Like Vermont, But Smaller

NEW JERSEY:         You have the right to remain silent,
                    You have the right to an attorney...
                    Tell 'em Guido sent ya
                    Formerly Old Jersey
                    The Suburb of not one, but TWO big cities

NEW MEXICO:         Lizards make excellent pets
                    We have reservations
                    Alien Welcome Center - Roswell
                    We copied Hampshire's, Mexico's and York's idea

NEW YORK:           At least we're not New Jersey!
                    We're more than a big city; we're a state
                    Like we CARE about a motto
                    English spoken here; sometimes
                    Yes, We Have Some Other Cities 

NORTH CAROLINA:     Five million people; Fifteen last names
                    We're bigger than South Carolina
                    We're Part of Dixie. Don't Let Our Name Fool Y'all

NORTH DAKOTA:       The OTHER South Dakota
                    No, We're not Part of Canada

OHIO:               Don't judge us by Cleveland
                    Proud polluters of Lake Erie
                    We're easy to spell
                    As Close to A Palindrome as You'll Get in This 

OKLAHOMA:           We're OK, you're NOT!
                    I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto
                    From a Musical  With the Same Name

OREGON:             As pretty as California but not as weird
                    We're not named after a musical instrument
                    You can see the sunset from here
                    No Taxes, No Pollution, No Visitors

PENNSYLVANIA:       Cook with coal
                    Free lub job with oil change

RHODE ISLAND:       Size ain't everything
                    Nobody famous came from Rhode Island
                    No, We're Not Surrounded by Water 

SOUTH CAROLINA:     Just south of North Carolina
                    The "other" Carolina, only better
                    We're "South of the Border"

SOUTH DAKOTA:       Closer than North Dakota

TENNESSEE:          The Educashun State
                    Thank goodness we've still got Elvis
                    A great fixer-upper
                    The Parallelogram State, Whatever That Means

TEXAS:              Si Hablo Ingles
                    See, EVERYTHING is bigger in Texas!
                    Don't Mess with Texas -- We're Armed

UTAH:               Our Jesus is better than your Jesus
                    At least our sheep can't talk

VERMONT:            Bet ya can't name 2 of our towns
                    We're Only Cheap in Monopoly

VIRGINIA:           Please don't confuse us with West Virginia!
                    Tobacco Is Only a Hobby

WASHINGTON:         We like our state, so STAY OUT!
                    No, the Capitol has "DC" after its name

WEST VIRGINIA:      Where "family values" has a different meaning
                    We Figured There Was Enuff "Norths" and "News" 

WISCONSIN:          Land of funny accents.
                    Say "Cheeeese"
                    Eat Cheese or Die

WYOMING:            Where men are lonely and sheep are scared

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