Why a Ship Floats

 
	 This is a true response to an exam question:
 
	 Q. A cruise ship, made up of tons of steel, is able to float on water.
	 Steel is much denser than water, so how is it that ships of enormous
	 size are able to float?
 
	 Response
	 
	 They can't float. Remember the Titanic. Anyone who pays $3,000 to go
	 on a boat for a week with a bunch of people they don't know deserves
	 the cruelest form of death available. Slowly sinking to the bowels of
	 oceans in their contemporary Hawaiian plaid shorts as god takes the
	 burden of life away from those who are not fit to observe it. Perhaps
	 the only force allowing remote floatation is the plethora of bombs
	 strategically implanted in the hull of the ship causing a massive
	 upward thrust to counteract the weight of their inconclusive
	 stupidity. I sit back with my Miller High Life on the cusp of the
	 island and watch and I think what a waste of explosives and steel and
	 40 year old women who peak to the bottom of their fat heart-burned
	 husbands sexual pendulums at the bottom of their swing. It does not
	 get any better than this.