Elevator Rules

 There are un-written rules that everyone who rides elevators follow
 whether they know it or not. It's not something that anyone has placed
 into effect by law...It's just the way things are....

1. When you are waiting for an elevator and there are two sets, the
   one that is the greatest distance from you will open first.

2. While you are riding the elevator, it is not permissible to look
   anyone in the eyes. The proper place to stare is at the floor or at 
   the numbers.

3. The person at the very back of the elevator will always be the one 
   who needs off first.

4. If you are on the top floor of a 32 story building and needed to go
   the 1st floor, the elevator will stop 31 times before you reach the

5. If you get off on the wrong floor and realize it the instant your 
   foot hits the ground outside the elevator, it's much to embarrassing 
   to admit you are wrong, so you stay outside the door and act like 
   you know what you're doing then catch the next one and hope all the 
   people you were with have gotten off. 

6. When there are six elevator doors, the one you stand in front of will
   be the last to open.

7. When the elevator is the most full, one of two people will be on with
   you: an extremely sick man who coughs constantly and then gets off 
   on the same floor you do, or a lady with a baby that screams through 
   the entire ride.

8. Don't pass gas in an elevator even if you are all alone because when
   you do, the very next stop will have ten people waiting to get on. 
   It's always best to wait until the elevator is full then no one knows 
   who to blame.

9. If you speak to a stranger in an elevator there will always be 
   nervouse laughter.

10. The friendliest person on the elevator that insists on talking to 
   you will always have bad breath and body odor.

11. Elevators force us to be close to people that we would never choose
   to be around otherwise. If you want a cultural experience, spend a 
   day riding elevators around town.

12. The first person to get on the elevator gets the command position
   next to the buttons so that they can feel important when people ask 
   them to punch their floor for them.

13. While waiting on an elevator, there will always be one person to
   comment on how slow the elevator is and then push the up or down 
   button over and over as if that will make it speed up. 

14. Once inside the elevator that same person will repeatedly punch the
   button for their floor thinking that this also will speed up the

15. On top of the list of the most annoying elevator pet peves is the
   parent who will allow their child to push the buttons and then smile 
   at you after the kid has pushed all 26 buttons while you are on the 
   first floor needing to get to the 25th floor. Then at every floor 
   the kid will yell "Is this where we get off?"

16. The floor that is la bled the 1st floor is not really the 1st floor
   but is in reality the basement. Ther 1st floor is actually la bled 
   the 2nd floor. 

17. If you are not in any hurry, there will always be an empty elevator
   just waiting with the doors open just for you by yourself. 

18. In buildings where smoking is allowed, there will always be one
   person who insist on taking the last drag off their cigarette putting 
   it out then waiting to exhale until the elevator door closes with you 
   trapped inside. 

19. If a child rides the elevator, they will have a balloon that just
   happens to be at your face level and there is no place to turn. 
   Popping the balloon is a strong temptation. 

20. I would rather ride the elevator with people than take the stairs

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