Resume Tips

	Below are the typical areas of a resume and my priceless secrets for
	dealing with them. These tips will help crush the competition, get you in
	the door and put you behind a desk making 50 big ones, plus bonus.


	Use the name to your advantage. Spice it up a little bit. Steve Smith goes
	nowhere fast. But Sir Stephen Smith--now that might turn a few heads.
	Nicknames also help. Mark "Keyboards" O'Malley is good. Mark "Kegsucker"
	O'Malley is bad.


	Forget your real address. Make a statement instead! Saying you're from the
	Bronx suggests you're tough as nails. Anyplace in Japan implies you believe
	in an 18-hour-a-day work ethic!


	Skip it. What are the odds they'll call--1,000 to 1. If they do, they'll
	probably just catch your roommate somewhere in the middle of his second
	six-pack. My advice is never put your phone number on a resume unless you
	want to try some interesting 900 number which might wake up a recruiter or


	Forget the ambition statement. You know what I mean: "Seeking a
	challenging IS position using state-of-theart technology in a high-growth,
	future-oriented corporation that is doing neat things for the environment."
	A better idea is to tell them what you're NOT seeking. "Not seeking a job
	where I'm paying my dues for eight years, maintaining ancient Cobol code
	that crashes every other night, slaving for some horrible boss and
	groveling in the smallest cubicle in the world until I finally claw my way
	into a lower management position, only to have the company lay off 40% of
	its work force so that I wind up in some noncritical, low-paying, dead-end,
	back-office position."


	Don't be afraid of Yalies and PH.D.s. Be proud of where you go to school
	and play it straight. But just to be on the safe side, send an application
	to some prestigious high-tech program at a prestigious school. Until they
	respond, you're not lying if you list under your education credits: "B.A.
	in Watersports Administration, Massatucky State, 1993...and current
	doctoral candidate, Nuclear Computer Simulation Modeling Fellowship
	Program, MIT."


	Even fresh out of school, you've got to have experience. But don't
	mention that you've invested in your own relational database or coded an
	object-oriented commodity trading system....Everybody's done that stuff.
	I'm talking about hands-on experience: high-level management, microchip
	design, hostile takeovers, etc. So if you're a little light in the
	experience area, don't tell lies. Instead, simply try a bit-more-concise
	explanation of the experience you do have. For example, if you worked as a
	cashier at Food Giant, make it, "Monitored and troubleshot retail
	point-of-sale bar-code inventory scanning system." "Conducted usability
	testing for graphical user interface" sounds a lot better than "played too
	much Nintendo." But don't try "Evaluated remote-accessed
	continuous-availability multimedia environment." Most employers can pick
	that one off as watching too much MTV.


	"References furnished upon request"? What kind of power-close is that? Let
	me leave you instead with this recommendation: Close with impact. Close
	with passion. Close with a line they'll remember, like "Please, please give
	me a job. And by the way, I know where you live."

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