How to Interpret a Resume

	I used to claim that I didn't write fiction. Then I started helping
	people with their resumes. So this is for anyone in HR who has to read
	the darned things.

	Term:           	What it really means:

	Bright          	Wears lots of yellow and red (usually together)
	Intelligent     	Got a gold star for spelling in first grade

	Computer-literate      	Knows the difference between a mouse and a terminal
	Great communicator 	Fired from his last job for telling the boss exactly
	                	what he thought of him

	Detail-oriented         Will spend eight hours perfecting a 2-minute job

	Sees the big picture	Hasn't got a clue about how to do the work required
			     	to get to the big picture

	Prompt          	First one out the door at quitting time

	Hard working    	For at least at ten minutes a day
	Conscientious   	Knows EXACTLY how much sick time and holiday time
	                        he has left

	Friendly        	Watch out for attractive members of your staff

	Honest          	Gossips

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