Instructions for Microsoft's New TV Dinner Product

  You must first remove the plastic cover.  By doing so you agree
  to accept and honor Microsoft rights to all TV dinners.  You may
  not give anyone else a bite of your dinner (which would constitute
  an infringement of Microsoft's rights).  You may, however, let
  others smell and look at your dinner and are encouraged to tell
  them how good it is.

  If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the dinner into the oven.
  Set the oven using these keystrokes: <<\mstv.dinn.//08.5min@50%heat//
  Then enter: ms//start.cook_dindin/yummy\|/yum~yum:-)gohot#cookme.

  If you have a Mac oven, insert the dinner and press start. The
  oven will set itself and cook the dinner.

  If you have a Unix oven, insert the dinner, enter the ingredients
  of the dinner (found on the package label), the weight of the dinner,
  and the desired level of cooking and press start.  The oven will
  calculate the time and heat and cook the dinner exactly to your

  Be forewarned that Microsoft dinners may crash, in which case your
  oven must be restarted.  This is a simple procedure.  Remove the
  dinner from the oven and enter <

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