McDonnel Douglas Warranty Card



	Rumor has it that the following was a page put on the McDonnell Douglas 
	Internet home page by a worker with a sense of humor. 

	AIRCRAFT-SPACE SYSTEMS-MISSILES

	Important! Important!
	Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase.


	Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to
	protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the
	warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not
	required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best
	meet your needs and desires.

	1. _Mr.   _Mrs.   _Ms.   _Miss   _Lt.   _Gen.   _Comrade   _Classified


		First Name          Initial

		Last Name

		Password

		Code Name

		Latitude            Longitude            Altitude

	2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?

	_F-14 Tomcat   _F-15 Eagle   _F-16 Falcon   _F-117A Stealth   _Classified

	3. Date of purchase: Month:          Day:          Year:

	4. Serial Number:

	5. Please check where this product was purchased:

		_Received as gift/aid package

		_Catalog showroom

		_Sleazy arms broker

		_Mail order

		_Discount store

		_Government surplus

		_Classified

	6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you
		have just purchased:

		_Heard loud noise, looked up

		_Store display

		_Espionage

		_Recommended by friend/relative/ally

		_Political lobbying by manufacturer

		_Was attacked by one

	7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision to
		purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:

		_Style/appearance

		_Kickback/bribe

		_Recommended by salesperson

		_Speed/maneuverability

		_Comfort/convenience

		_McDonnell Douglas reputation

		_Advanced Weapons Systems

		_Price/value

		_Backroom politics

		_Negative experience opposing one in combat

	8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:

		_North America

		_Central/South America

		_Aircraft carrier

		_Europe

		_Middle East

		_Africa

		_Asia/Far East

		_Misc. Third World countries

		_Classified

	9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to purchase in
	the near future:

		Product             Own         Intend to purchase

		Color TV

		VCR

		ICBM

		Killer Satellite

		CD Player
	
		Air-to-Air Missiles

		Space Shuttle

		Home Computer

		Nuclear Weapon

	10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? Check all that
		apply:

		_Communist/Socialist

		_Terrorist

		_Crazed

		_Neutral

		_Democratic

		_Dictatorship

		_Corrupt
	
		_Primitive/Tribal

	11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?

		_Cash

		_Suitcases of cocaine

		_Oil revenues

		_Deficit spending

		_Personal check

		_Credit card

		_Ransom money

		_Traveler's check

	12. Occupation      You     Your Spouse

	    Homemaker

	    Sales/marketing

	    Revolutionary

	    Clerical

	    Mercenary

	    Tyrant

	    Middle management

 	    Eccentric billionaire

 	    Defense Minister/general

	    Retired

	    Student

	13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate the
		interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy 
		participating on a regular basis:

	    Activity/Interest         You     Your Spouse

	    Golf

	    Boating/sailing

	    Sabotage

	    Running/jogging

	    Propaganda/disinformation

	    Destabilization/overthrow

	    Default on loans

	    Gardening

	    Crafts

	    Black market/smuggling

	    Collectibles/collections

	    Watching sports on TV

	    Wines

	    Interrogation/torture

	    Household pets

	    Crushing rebellions

	    Espionage/reconnaissance

	    Fashion clothing

	    Border disputes     

	    Mutually Assured Destruction

	Thanks for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will
	be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better
	in the future--as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers
	from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious
	consortia.

	Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:

		McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
		Marketing Department
		Military Aerospace Division
		P.O. Box 800
		St. Louis, MO







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