The Andrew Lloyd Webber Song

(sung to the tune of "Memory" from "Cats")

Have you heard of Andrew Lloyd Webber?
	He’s had eight hits on Broadway with the very same score.
If his songs sound familiar to you it’s because
	You have heard them... all before.

Mem’ry, he has such a good mem’ry
	He can take an old standard and revamp it to sell.
Even the song I am singing to you
      Is "Bolero," by Ravel.

There are those who claim and state
	His talent is persistence.
I’ve seen his shows, and I would say his... ..."talent"
	Approaches non-existence.

Lyrics, he will crucify lyrics
	He will
      take-as-many-words-as-he-possibly-can-and-shove-‘em-into-one-phrase
        And not even think twice.
He can do this, because T.S. Eliot is... ...dead,
        And Tim Rice is... ...well, Tim Rice.

As - for - end-ings - he - will - make - them - te-di-ous - and -
                    bor-ing.
        The tune is saggy and the cat is craggy, and just as you ... start
                    ...snor....

KEY CHANGE!  He will throw in a KEY CHANGE!
	Use a cheap modulation for the final assault.
We’ve all seen him at the Antoinette Perry Awards,
	Winning Tonys...   by default...