Rich Koz portrays the popular character "Svengoolie" each week on
Channel 26 WCIU, or "The U." Svengoolie introduces horror movies,
cracks jokes and comments on the often-hilarious movies.
The small and thin know what's "in" for a last-minute SCI-FI classic
costume. Just get one of those trash cans with the rounded dome top
and the big flap on the front. Put it over your head and climb inside,
bring along your cell phone and start dialing to make those audible
"beeps" and "boops."
Voila -- you're the beloved "Star Wars" droid R2D2!
Are you Portly? Pleasingly plump? Big-boned? Just plain overweight?
Halloween was meant for you! Simply throw that white sheet over
yourself, and you're the continent of Antartica
New parents! Are you confused about how to dress your infant for
the Halloween party? The answer is as close as your kitchen!
Simply wrap the offspring in aluminum foil
-- and the kid's a baked potato!
UNIVERSAL BAR CODE
Get a child's growth chart with the lines and numbers on it, then
affix it to your body from head to toe. Every shopper will
recognize you as a price in Universal Bar Code!
This costume will also protect your anonymity: No one can tell
what the real price is, just like at the grocery store!
A simple pillow can provide any number of last-minute costumes.
Tuck it into the upper back of your shirt -- you're Quasimodo!
Or move it around to the front -- you're Arnold Schwarzenegger!
Now drop it lower -- you're Helen Hunt last season on
"Mad About You!" [pregnant]
Don't discard that pillow case -- put it over the top part of
your body and you're a Chicklet!
Get a long and shallow cardboard box.
Cut a rectangle in the front.
Climb inside it, then put a sign that reads "12:00" in front of
the rectangle. Yes, you're an unprogrammed VCR -- the kind that
60 percent of the public owns!
Energy-conscious but short on time for a clever costume?
Race up to your attic and roll up some of that pink fiberglass
insulation you put up there to conserve heat. Wrap the paper side
toward you and you're that favorite circus treat, cotton candy!
[ED NOTE: I'm not sure how safe that is, you decide]
LOST TV REMOTE
Art imitates life once again with this cumbersome but easily
identifiable costume. Simply remove two large seat cushions from
your sofa, and affix one in front of you and one behind you.
You're an item familiar to all -- the lost TV remote control!
Here's a new twist to an old Wolfman mask.
Take an old laundry basket and cut out the bottom so you can stick
your head through. Wrap sheets of fabric softener, bedsheets and
odd socks around the rest of your body.
You're a Wash-and-Wearwolf!
Get three friends.
Take one white sheet, and cut four holes in it.
Whiten your faces and hair with make-up, powder or flour. Then line
up and stick your heads through the sheet, and enjoy your monumental
costume -- as Mount Rushmore!
PORTABLE CLOTHES DRYER
Got an old diving or snorkeling mask?
Stick some old baby socks and a handkerchief in the lens and put it
on. Now move your head up and down, and you're a portable clothes
(Hey, these are last-minute ideas! We didn't say they'd be good!)
Go to a party dressed as you are.
When asked what you're supposed to be, say "Radon gas!"
Then when asked, "Where's your costume?" say, "Where else? In
Ladies! Want a quick costume that'll make you as trendy as the hip
kids on MTV? Raid your kitchen cabinets and take every bottle of
seasoning. Now tape the bottles all over your body.
You're one of the SPICE GIRLS!
Guys, here's a way to be environmentally conscious with your
Halloween costume! Recycle your old costumes to make new ones!
Find that old green hairspray from the once-trendy "Joker" costume
everyone had after the first "Batman" movie came out.
Then, dig up that Scarlett O'Hara gown your girlfriend wore.
Combine 'em, and you're NBA superstar Dennis Rodman! Tattoos and
body piercing are optional!
SIEGFRIED AND ROY
Does your child have one of those huge plush lions or tigers?
Stuff a glove with cotton or paper and glue it hanging out of
the animal's mouth. The result: An instant costume with true
Vegas glamour -- you're Siegfried and Roy!
We'll let you choose which Vegas animal trainer to be!
DAVID LETTERMAN'S TEETH
You and a friend each get a large appliance box and paint it white.
Put them on. Stand close together with a slight space between you.
Behold! You're David Letterman's front teeth!
IDEAS FOR PARTIES YOU'D RATHER MISS:
CABLE TV INSTALLER
Call the host and say you're coming as a cable-TV installer.
Then, don't show up until a week after the party, at a time when
the host isn't home! Make sure you leave a pre-printed generic
"Sorry we missed you" note!
Ladies, you can avoid parties you'd rather not attend.
Just call and tell them you're going to dress as Maris, the
well-known wife of Dr. Miles Crain on "Fraiser."
Then you don't have to go. As regular viewers know, Maris
is never seen on the show!
The best last-minute idea for a party you'd rather not attend:
Tell the host you'll be coming as the Invisible Man.
Then don't show up!