TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH :
1. When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay
2. It's easy being a soap dodger.
3. You get to eat shitty little things like snails and frog's legs.
4. You know what you are ordering in expensive restaurants.
5. You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night
films on Channel 4.
6. You can test your own nuclear weapons far away from your own
7. You can be ugly and still become a famous film star
8. If there's a war you can surrender really early.
9. You don't have to bother with toilets, just shit in a hole.
10. People think you're a great lover even when you're crap
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN :
1. You can have a woman president without electing her.
2. You can spell colour wrong and get away with it.
3. You can call Budweiser beer.
4. You can be a crook and still be president.
5. If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything.
6. If you've got a driver's licence you can get a gun.
7. You can invent a new public holiday every year.
8. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and
nobody seems to care.
9. You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy."
10. You can be Irish and American at the same time
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH :
1. Two World Wars and One World Cup (doo-dah doo-dah)
2. Warm beer
3. You get to confuse yanks with the rules of cricket.
4. You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events.
5. Union jack underpants.
6. Water shortages guaranteed every single summer.
7. Puts you in with a chance of bedding Lady Di.
8. Bathing once a week-whether you need to or not.
9. Ditto changing underwear.
10. Beats being Welsh, or Scottish
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN :
1. In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes.
2. Unembarrassed to wear fur.
3. No need to worry about tax returns.
4. Glorious military history... well, till about 400 a.d.
5. Can wear sunglasses inside.
6. Political stability.
7. Flexible working hours.
8. Live near the Pope.
9. Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair.
10. Sweating tenors.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH :
1. You can be mistaken for a Mexican all over North America.
2. The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees.
3. You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits etc.
4. The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans.
5. Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it's the real thing.
6. Hard to get the women into bed without marrying them...
7. .. and twice as hard still if you're not a Catholic
8. In fact, the only sure way is to dress up in silly too-tight
clothes and risk your life in front of bulls.
9. You get to eat bulls' testicles.
10. Supported Argentina in Falklands War.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN :
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING INDIAN :
1. Large choice of languages.
2. Fleshy actresses.
3. Taj Mahal.
4. Chicken Tikka Massala.
5. Can model volatility and money at risk in 7 computer languages.
6. Can communicate chiefly with head movements.
7. A Patel is never lonely in the phone book.
8. Kapil Dev
9. Keep saying "please" meaning it.
10. 6 spicy papadums, pickles and a Kingfisher
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH :
1. The Guinness is great.
2. The crack is great.
3. You won't get in a crack unless you marry them.
4. You can't have sex with a condom on.
5. Thus you must have sex without one on.
6. No one can ever remember the night before.
7. If you don't agree with me I'll blow you up.
8. The stew is great.
9. The Murphy's is great.
10. Er...Best pop down the pub and have a think.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN :
1. It beats being an American.
2. You dont have to leave home to taste authentic French cuisine.
3. You can play hockey 12 months a year, outdoors.
4. Can travel anywhere with a Canadian passport.
5. Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe?
6. A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity
ratings will rise.
7. Liberal is not a dirty word.
8. The CBC
9. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital
to the ground.
10. If you are BORING!!
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