Heaven


     This 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had 
died in a car crash.  They had been in good health the last ten years 
mainly due to her interest in health food, and exercise.
 
     When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their
mansion which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath 
suite and Jacuzzi.  As they "oohed and aahed" the old man asked Peter 
how much all this was going to cost.
 
     "It's free, " Peter replied, "this is Heaven."
 
     Next they went out back to survey the championship golf course that 
the home backed up to.  They would have golfing privileges everyday and 
each week the course changed to a new one representing the great golf 
courses on earth.
 
     The old man asked, "what are the green fees?".
 
     Peter's reply, "This is heaven, you play for free."
 
     Next they went to the club house and saw the lavish buffet lunch 
with the cuisines of the world laid out.
 
     "How much to eat?" asked the old man.
 
     "Don't you understand yet?  This is heaven, it is free!" Peter 
replied with some exasperation.
 
     "Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?" the old 
man asked timidly.
 
     Peter lectured, "That's the best part...you can eat as much as you 
like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick.  
This is Heaven."
 
     With that the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his 
hat and stomping on it, and shrieking wildly.   Peter and his wife both 
tried to calm him down, asking him what was wrong.
 
     The old man looked at his wife and said, "This is all your fault.  
If it weren't for your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here ten 
years ago!"






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