What Have You Done Lately?

 A guy is at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted, while St. Pete
 is leafin' through this Big Book to see if the guy is worthy of
 entering.  Saint Peter goes through the books several times, furrows
 his brow, and says to the guy, "You know, I can't see that you did
 anything really good in your life but, you never did anything bad
 either.  Tell you what, if you can tell me of one REALLY good deed
 that you did in your life, you're in."

 The guy thinks for a moment and says,  "Yeah, there was this one time
 when I was drivin' down the highway and I saw a giant group of KKK
 Biker Gang Rapists assaulting this poor girl.  I slowed down my car to
 see what was going on, and sure enough, there they were, about 50 of
 'em torturing this chick.  Infuriated, I get out my car, grabbed a
 tire iron out of my trunk, and walked straight up to the leader of the
 gang, a huge guy with a studded leather jacket and a chain running
 from his nose to his ear.  As I walked up to the leader, the KKK Biker
 Gang Rapists formed a circle around me.

 So, I rip the leader's chain off his face and smash him over the head
 with the tire iron.  Then I turn around and yell to the rest of them,
 'Leave this poor, innocent girl alone!  You're all a bunch of sick,
 deranged animals!  Go home before I teach you all a lesson in pain!'"

 St. Peter, impressed, says "Really?  When did this happen?"

 "Oh, about two minutes ago."

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