Gender Definitions

Wants & needs (wontz and nedz) n.
        female:   The delicate balance of emotional, physical and
                   psychological longing one seeks to have fulfilled in a
        male:      Food, sex and beer.

Thingy (thing-ee) n.
              female: Any part under a car's hood.
              male:   The strapfastener on a woman's bra.

Lesbian (lez-bi-an) n.
            female: A woman who makes love to other women.
            male:   A woman who has sex with other women so men can
                     watch and get really turned on.

Glass ceiling (glas see-ling) n.
           female: The invisible barrier that stops women from rising
                    to the upper levels in business.
           male:  What would really be great at work since that hot
                    babe took over the office one flight up.

Vulnerable (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
           female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to
           male:   Playing ball without a cup.

Communication (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
        female:  The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's
        male:    Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for
                 a weekend with the guys.

Butt (but) n.
        female:  The body part that every item of clothing
                 manufactured makes "look bigger."
        male:    The organ of mooning (and farting).

Commitment (ko-mit-ment) n.
       female:  A desire to get married and raise a family.
       male:    Not trying to pick up other women while out with
                  one's girlfriend.

Entertainment (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
       female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
       male:  Anything with one ball, two folds, or three stooges.

Flatulence (flach-u-lens) n.
       female: An embarrassing byproduct of digestion.
       male:   An endless source of enterainment, self-expression
                    and male bonding.

Making love (may-king luv) n.
       female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can
       male:   What men have to call "boinking" to get women to

Remote control (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
       female: A device for changing from one TV channel to
       male:   A device for scanning through all 75 channels
                     every 2 1/2 minutes.

Taste (tayst) v.
          female: Something you do frequently to whatever you're
                     cooking, to make sure it's good.
          male:  Something you must do to anything you think has
                    gone bad, prior to tossing it out.

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