How to Have Fun at the Expense of Others
1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch
paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen
while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all
weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc."
them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over
13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink
cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the background color on your email so that all your email
correspondence is in green, and insist to others that you "like it that
16. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking"
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their
complimentary mints by the cash register.
20. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE..
21. type only in lowercase.
22. dont use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times:
"Do you hear that?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of
your chin. When nearly done, announce, "no, wait, I messed it up,"
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a
29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to
see if they slow down.
30. Sing along at the opera.
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