Rules for Frequent Flyers

1. No flight ever leaves on time unless you are running late and
   need the delay to make the flight.

2. If you are running late for a flight, it will depart from the
   farthest gate within the terminal.

3. If you arrive very early for a flight, it inevitably will be

4. Flights never leave from Gate #1 at any terminal in the world.

5. If you must work on your flight, you will experience turbulence
   as soon as you touch pen to paper. Or start to drink your coffee.

6. If you are assigned a middle seat, you can determine who has the
   seats on the aisle and the window while you are still in the
   boarding area. Just look for the two largest passengers.

7. Only passengers seated in window seats ever have to get up to go
to the lavatory.

8. The crying baby on board your flight is always seated next to you.

9. The best-looking woman/man on your flight is never seated next to

10. The less carry-on luggage space available on an aircraft, the
    more carry-on luggage passengers will bring aboard.

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