How to Identify Where a Driver is From


  One hand on wheel, one hand on horn:  New York

  One hand on wheel, one finger out window:  Chicago

  One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on
  accelerator: Boston

  One hand on wheel, cradling cell phone,brick on
  accelerator:California *with gun in lap:  L.A.

  Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in
  terror: Ohio, but driving in California.

  Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator,  head turned
  to talk to someone in back seat:  Italy

  One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on
  brake, mind on game: Seattle

  One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between
  both feet being on the accelerator and both on the brake, throwing a
  McDonalds bag out the window: Texas city male

  One hand on wheel, one hand hanging out the window, keeping speed
  steadily at 70mph, driving down the center of the road unless coming
  around a blind curve, in which case they are on the left side of the
  road: Texas country male

  One hand constantly refocusing the rear-view mirror to show
  different angles of the BIG hair, one hand going between mousse,
  brush, and rat-tail to keep the helmet hair going, both feet on the
  accelerator, poodle steering the car, chrome .38 revolver with
  mother of pearl inlaid handle in the glove compartment: Texas female

  Both hands on steering wheel in a relaxed posture, eyes constantly
  checking the rear-view mirror to watch for visible emissions from
  their own or another's car: Colorado

  One hand on steering wheel,  yelling obscenities, the other hand
  waving gun out the window and firing repeatedly, keeping a careful
  eye out for landmarks along the way so as to be able to come back
  and pick up any bullets that didn't hit other motorists so as not to
  litter: Colorado resident on spotting a car with Texas plate.

  Four wheel drive pickup truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer
  cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: West Virginia
  male.

  Junker, driven by someone who previously had a nice car and who is
  now wearing a barrel: Las Vegas

  They forgot: two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible
  above window level, driving 35 on the interstate in the left lane
  with the left blinker on:  Florida "seasoned citizen" driver, also
  known as "no-see-um"





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