Letters to Dear Abby

 DEAR ABBY: A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a
 middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her
 mid-twenties.  These two women go everywhere together and I've never
 seen a man go into  their apartment or come out. Do you think they
 could be Lebanese?
 DEAR ABBY: I've been married for six years and have five kids. No twins.
 My husband still wants to have sex every night and sometimes in the
 morning too.  I told him he should get himself a hobby, and he says that
 is his hobby.
 ....I have a man I never could trust. Why, he cheats so much I'm not
 even sure this baby I'm carrying is his.
 ....I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on the
 pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend
 should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss
 money with him.
 ....I suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and when I
 confronted him with the evidence he denied everything and said it would
 never happen again.
 ....Will you please rush me the name of a reliable illegitimate doctor?
 ....Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was
 raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?
 ....I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now how do I get
 ....My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 an hour
 every week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy.
 ....I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank
 until one night he came home sober.
 ....Do you think it would be all right if I gave my doctor a little gift?
 I tried for years to get pregnant and couldn't and he finally did it.
 My mother is mean and short-tempered. I think she is going through her
 mental pause.
 I met this nice guy who was in the service. He's the chief petting
 .... Then you told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in
 sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex
 years ago and he is a doctor.
 ....This is the second marriage for both of us. And when my husband
 said "I Will" he knew damn well he couldn't.
 DEAR ABBY: I've been going steady with this man for six years. We see
 each other every night. He says he loves me, and I know I love him, but
 he never mentions marriage. Do you think he's going out with me just
 for what he can get?
 DEAR GERTIE: I don't know. What's he getting?
 DEAR ABBY: My husband hates to spend money! I cut my own hair and
 make my own clothes, and I have to account for every nickel I spend.
 Meanwhile he has a stock of savings bonds put away that would choke a
 cow. How do I get some money out of him before we are both called to
 our final judgment? He says he's saving for a rainy day.
 DEAR HITCHED: Tell him it's raining!
 DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend is going to be twenty years old next month. I'd
 like to give him something nice for his birthday. What do you think
 he'd like?
 DEAR CAROL: Never mind what he'd like. Give him a tie.
 DEAR ABBY: Are birth control pills deductible?
 DEAR KAY: Only if they don't work.
 DEAR ABBY: Our son was married in January. Five months later his wife
 had a ten-pound baby girl. They said the baby was premature. Tell me,
 can a baby this big be that early?
 DEAR WONDERING: The baby was on time, the wedding was late. Forget it.
 DEAR ABBY: Do you think about dying much?
 DEAR CURIOUS: No, it's the last thing I want to do.
 DEAR ABBY: Is it possible for a man to be in love with two women at the
 same time?
 DEAR JAKE: Yes, and also hazardous.
 DEAR ABBY: I know boys will be boys, but my 'boy' is seventy-three and
 he's still chasing women. Any suggestions?
 DEAR ANNIE: Don't worry. My dog has been chasing cars for years, but if
 he ever caught one, he wouldn't know what to do with it.
 DEAR ABBY: I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I
 can't afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any suggestions?
 DEAR SAM: Yes. Run for public office.
 DEAR ABBY: What inspires you most to write?
 DEAR TED: The Bureau of Internal Revenue.
 DEAR ABBY: When you are being introduced, is it all right to say, "I've
 heard a lot about you"?
 DEAR RITA: It depends on what you've heard.
 DEAR ABBY: I am forty-four years old and I would like to meet a man my
 age with no bad habits.
 DEAR ROSE: So would I.
 DEAR ABBY: What's the difference between a wife and a mistress?
 DEAR BESS: Night and day.

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