Top Ten Signs You're Not Ready to Graduate

 10. During the fittings for caps and gowns, you are sent out to look 
     for four leaf clovers on the football field.
 9.  Your only English paper was titled "TV Guide:  Gateway to Viewing
     Pleasure."
 8.  You miss a lot of classes to appear in lineups.
 7.  During final exams, teachers ask you to go out and get their lunch.
 6.  Your rebuttal in the first round of the debate tournament:  
     "You've convinced me!"
 5.  Nobody believes the drugs in your locker were planted by "those
     Whitewater dudes."
 4.  Johnnie Cochran calls, asking you to serve on his next jury.
 3.  They're giving you an "incomplete" in shop until you find the
     teacher's finger.
 2.  It's nearly May and you still haven't found your home room.
 1.  Your name is Kenny.  This year's prom theme is "Sorry You Won't Be
     Graduating, Kenny."