Application for Permission to Date My Daughter


  NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
  accompanied by a complete financial statement job history, lineage, and
  current medical report from your doctor.

1. NAME  _______________________________ DATE OF BIRTH _______________
2. HEIGHT _________________ WEIGHT __________ I.Q _______ G.P.A.______
3. SOCIAL SECURITY # _____________ DRIVERS LICENSE #  ________________
4. BOY SCOUT RANK_____________________________________________________
5. HOME ADDRESS _________________ CITY/STATE ___________ ZIP _________
6. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent?________________________
      If No., EXPLAIN ________________________________________________

7. Number of years your parents have been married ____________________
8. Do you own a van? ______ A truck with oversized tires? ______ 
   A waterbed? _______  Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly
   button ring? ________ A tattoo_________________
      (If  "yes" to any of #8, discontinue application and leave 
       premises)
9. In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?__________________
_______________________________________________________________________
10. In 50 words or lest, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
11. In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE" mean to you?
_______________________________________________________________________
12. Church you attend __________ How often do you attend ______________
13. When would be the best time to interview your father, mother and
    priest/rabbi/minister? __________
14. Answer by filling in the blank: please answer freely. ALL answers
    are confidential (That means I won't  tell anyone-ever-I promise.)
    a) If I were shot the last place on my body I would want wounded is
        ________
    b) If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my
        ________________
    c) A woman's place is in the ______________________________________

    d) The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is
        _____________
    e) When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her Is
       (NOTE: If your answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue. Leave
        premises keeping your head low and running in a serpentine
        fashion is advised.)
15. What do you want to be IF you grow up?
      __________________________________

        I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT
TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE,
RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
________________________________________
Signature( That means your name, moron)

Thank you for your interest Please allow four to six years for
processing. You will be notified in writing you are approved. Please do
not try to call or write (since you probably can't and it would cause
you injury.) if your application is rejected, you will  be notified by
two gentlemen weaning white ties and carrying violin cases (You might
want to watch your back)





Back to Lori's Humor Page

Back to Lori's Home Page


This Page Sponsored by Geocities. For a totally free web page (no strings attached), Click Here