AOL Hacker Turnaround



NOTE FROM LORI: I don't think the poor kid is still on AOL anymore (or if he is, I think he changed his username). If I am wrong, please don't hound him. He seems to have learned his lesson the hard way



Read Newfpyr's masterful turning of the tables on a hacker... Certainly one of the best Absurd IMs we've EVER received! Newfpyr's comments are in brackets throughout.

  Zabu451:Hello from America Online! I'm sorry to inform you that there
  has been an error in the I/O section of your account database, and this
  this server's password information has been temporarily destroyed. We 
  need you, the AOL user, to hit reply and type in your password. Thank 
  you for your help.


  Newfpyr:Hello! This is Server Manager #563. I'm sorry to hear that
  your server has lost the password info. I mean, this has been hapening 
  to much lately.
  NewfPyr:We have developed some solutions to this problem. Have you got
  the mail sent out to all server managers?

  Zabu451:no

  NewfPyr:Really? Ouch. There's been some problems with the server mailer
  lately. Oh, well. Here's a solution to this problem: try connecting your
  backup database to your main I/O port, then accessing the system restart.

  Zabu451:no i still need passwords

  NewfPyr:I see. Do you want me to send you the list of all the passwords
  of all the screen names of your server?

  Zabu451:ya i want that

  NewfPyr:Let me get the server manager to send it...
  NewfPyr:He says I need your server manager password. Could you please
  type it in?

  Zabu451:i dont have one

  NewfPyr:What do you mean? That's the first thing every manager gets!

  Zabu451:itgot deleted

  NewfPyr:Wow! You must be having a lot of trouble. Let me find out what
  server you're using...

  [Note: I checked his profile. It said he was from Springfield, Mass.]

  NewfPyr:Okay, you're number has been tracked to an area in Springfield,
  Mass.

  Zabu451:how did u know?!!!?!?!!?!?!?!?!??!!

  NewfPyr:I used Server Tracker 5.0 . Don't you have it?

  Zabu451:do you know my address!?!?!?!!?!?

  NewfPyr:Of course not.

  Zabu451:good

  NewfPyr:I only know the number you're calling AOL from, which is from
  your server, right?


  Zabu451:yes

  NewfPyr:Good. Okay, now that we have you're number, we have you're
  address, and we are sending a repair team over there.

  Zabu451:nonononono
  Zabu451:dont stop them now

  NewfPyr:Why? Isn't your server down?

  Zabu451:nonono its working now

  NewfPyr:They're still coming, just in case.

  Zabu451:STOP THEM NOW

  NewfPyr:I can't break AOL Polacy.

  Zabu451:POEPLE ARE COMING TO MY HOUSE?!?!?!?!??

  NewfPyr:No! To your server. You know, where you're calling AOL from.

  Zabu451:im calling from my house

  NewfPyr:But you said you where calling from the server!

  Zabu451:i lied im not reely a server guy

  NewfPyr:But you said you were!

  Zabu451:i lied i trying to get passwords please make them stop

  NewfPyr:Okay. The repair team isn't coming anymore.

  Zabu451:good

  NewfPyr:But a team of FBI agents is.

  Zabu451:NONONONO
  Zabu451:im sorry
  Zabu451:ill never do it again please make them not come
  Zabu451:PLEASE IL STOP ASKING FOR PASSWORDS FOREVER PLEASE MAKE THEM
  STOP!!

  NewfPyr:I'm sorry, I can't do that. They should be at your house in 
  5 minutes.

  Zabu451:IM SORRY IL DO ANYTHING PLEASE I DONT WANT THEM TO HURT ME
  Zabu451:PLEASE
  Zabu451:PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSE

  NewfPyr:They won't hurt you! You'll probobly only spend a year of 
  prison.

  Zabu451:NO IM ONLY A KID

  NewfPyr:You are? That makes it diferent. You wont go to prison for a 
  year.

  Zabu451:i thout so

  NewfPyr:You'll go for two years.

  Zabu451:NO! IM SORRY
  Zabu451:PLEASE MAKE THEM STOP
  Zabu451:PLEASE

  [I thought this was enough. He was probably wetting his pants.]

  NewfPyr:Since this was a first time offense, I think I can drop charges.

  Zabu451:yea
  Zabu451:thankyouthankyouthankyou

  NewfPyr:The FBI agents have been withdrawn. If you ever do it again, 
  we'll bump you off.

  Zabu451:i wont im sorry goodbye

  [He promptly signed off.]

  One of the RARE RARE occasions that we've actually felt sorry for the
  hacker. SEVENTY FIVE TOKENS to you, NewfPyr! We're STILL laughing -
  thanks a lot!







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