Things Adults Learn from Kids

 There is no such thing as child-proofing your house

 If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller
 blades, they can ignite

 A 4 years-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded  restaurant

 If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong
 enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a
 Superman cape

 It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a
 20 by 20 foot room

 Baseballs make marks on ceilings

 You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on

 When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a
 few times before you get a hit

 A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

 The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by 
 a ceiling fan

 When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh;" it's already too late

 Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it

 A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36
 year old man says they can only do it in the movies

 A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day

 If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it
 does not leak - it explodes

 A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot house 
 4 inches deep

 Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old

 Duplos will not

 Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence

 Super glue is forever

 McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know

 Ditto Tarzan

 No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool you still can't 
 walk on water

 Pool filters do not like Jello

 VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do

 Garbage bags do not make good parachutes

 Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving

 You probably do not want to know what that odor is

 Always look in the oven before you turn it on

 Plastic toys do not like ovens

 The fire department in San Diego has at least a 5 minute response time

 The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy

 It will however make cats dizzy

 Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy

 Quiet does not necessarily mean don't worry

 A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life
 (unfortunately, mostly in retrospect)

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