The 9 Types of Web Page Creators

   Joe/Jane Average College Student
          Traits : Owner of a new university-supplied computer account
          with httpd access. Complete lack of originality. Multiple
          references to beer/Disney movies. Several photos of Student
          with college buddies (high school, if freshman Student).
          The Good News : They don't know how to get their page linked to
          the outside world, so only they and their friends download
          their 16.7-million- color pictures from the last party.
          The Bad News : They, their friends and their 16.7-million-color
          pictures might be on your server.

   Mr. "Enhanced For Netscape" 
          Traits : The second thing you see on his page is a Netscape
          logo and a link to an ftp site where you can download Netscape
          NOW!. The first thing you see is about 80
          different s scrolling back and forth across your screen.
          The Good News : You won't have to look at their pages for long,
          because there won't be much there to see.
          The Bad News : Half of the rest of the people who look at their
          pages are going to think "Hey, that's cool!" and copy the

   The Old-Timer 
          Traits : Pages compatible with HTML 1.0, no graphics and very
          few attribute tags. Normal-text-size message at top says "This
          page not enhanced for Netscape. Cope, whipper-snapper."
          The Good News : He's likely there because he has something of
          importance to say.
          The Bad News : Whatever it is will likely be boring or far too
          technical for you.

   The 5-Year-Old 
          Traits : Pictures of their parents, the family pet, etc. More
          data about the daily life of a kindergartener than you thought
          possible. Cute "kiddy-talk" dialect to the text. <ADDRESS>
          contains the note "such-and-such's mother helped her build this

          The Good News : The first few of these you see give you a warm,
          fuzzy feeling.

          The Bad News : The last few dozen of these you see all look the

   The Computer Science Major 
          Traits : Links to the linux FAQ, the Geek Code, Star Wars theme
          music and DOOM .wad files. Cautious use of Netscape
          enhancements. Picture of Darth Vader instead of personal
          pictures. HTML 3.0 (Beta) compliant seal-of-approval at bottom
          of her page.

          The Good News : If you're a geek, you'll find what you're
          looking for here. Even if you're not, you'll like the page

          The Bad News : Complete lack of socially redeeming qualities.
          Unfortunate tendency to upload specs of their home PC.

   The Businessman 
          Traits : Pages without fancy backgrounds and with only one
          nice, clean, imagemap. Unfortunately, there are no text-links
          for those using Lynx.

          The Good News : You won't go blind staring at his pages.

          The Bad News : You might wish you had once you see the prices
          of the goods/services he's offering.

   The Newbie 
          Traits : Very little created text on their pages, it's almost
          all links to other people's pages. Missing right brackets in <A
          HREF's kill whole lines of information. Several image files are
          not able to be loaded. <CENTER.

          The Good News : They'll almost have to get better.

          The Bad News : They just might not.

   The Egotist 
          Traits : Large image of themself greets you when page is
          loading. 1/2 Meg .au file of him chatting with his dog. Access
          counts shown for every page. Several lengthy pages devoted to
          his compact disk/Magic card/beer bottle collection. More
          personal details than you'd ever want to know.

          The Good News : There isn't any.

          The Bad News : Frequently friendly with Mr. "Enhanced for

   The Maniac 
          Traits : Last counted 1267 .html files in his public_html
          directory and 100+ CGI scripts in his cgi-bin directory. Is
          known as a "Close Personal Friend of Bob [Allison]." Thinks the
          people at Yahoo! "don't keep up with the Web fast enough." Will
          be the first on his block to have an ethernet cable hardwired
          into his brain.

          The Good News : You could go through all his pages and never
          find an error.

          The Bad News : You'd never make it through all his pages.
Copyright 1995 by Michael F. Haynes

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