486 Tower System
(and earlier and other kinds)
IF YOU STILL USE IT AND/OR
YOU'RE TRYING TO GET THE BOSS TO UPGRADE
1. Successfully think it is a faster unit by slowing down YOUR
thought processes by 75%.
2. Post a sign on it that reads "Caution: SPEED TRAP AHEAD".
3. Use the 4x CD tray as a Mega-Cup holder.
4. Draw a bulls-eye on the side and toss powerful magnets at it.
5. Set that leaking paper cup of hot coffee on top of it.
6. Drill a hole in the face and install a battery clock that
operates at half speed.
7. Install a 56k modem in it and watch the whole works go up in smoke.
8. Suggest to the boss he donate it to the archeology department
of a local university as a specimen.
9. Trade it in for one gross (144) of pre-formatted floppies.
10. A little changing around inside and hey, you have a desk side
11. Resign yourself to slow loading, and sign up for AOL.
12. Lift that monitor up to eye level.
13. Use it as a footrest under the desk.
IF YOU'VE UPGRADED AND CAN'T STAND TO PART WITH IT
1. Use it as a decoy for burglars.
2. Bronze it.
3. Hollow it out and:
a. use it to grow mushrooms.
b. build little shelves in it to store CDs.
c. use it as bait box.
d. A tool box for your deepwell socket set.
e. Play "cover the cat" with it.
f. Hinge the front cover to hide that bottle of Jack Daniels.
g. use the memory and processor chips and:
* paint them to look like caterpillars
and bugs for your desktop.
* make a mobile for your workspace.
h. Invert it and use it as:
* a saddlebag for your mountain bike.
* a recycling bin for the weeks newspapers
* a magazine rack.
i. Cover the Surge Control device so you don't kick the switch.
j. Convert it to a hampster cage, complete with squeaky wheel.
4. Use the sides as extra space for Post-its.
5. Nice flat surface for folding socks and underwear.
6. Keep it in the family, give it to your parents, it's
fast enough for them.
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