The Top 16 Signs Your Date's Not an English Major
16> She thinks Jack London is a character on General Hospital.
15> Has legally changed her name to "Slutty Spice."
14> Won't stop talking about the time he bit Holyfield's ear.
13> Wants to buy the novel of the Mr. Bean movie.
12> The two of you constantly argue about which "Homer" came first.
11> Giggles uncontrollably whenever you bring up "Moby Dick."
10> Thinks "Elements of Style" was written by Elsa Klensch.
9> The last time he completed a sentence, he was at Attica.
8> "You gots no condom, you gets no party", was your last clue.
7> "Of *course* I've read Walden. And it only took me 10 minutes
to find him!"
6> Ask her to conjugate a verb and she starts talking and belching
at the same time.
5> Doesn't have a lot of free weekends due to busy schedule as
4> Thinks "Beowolf" is a show starring David Hasselhoff.
3> Her favorite poem deals with a man from Nantucket.
2> When you ask him if he has any Grey Poupon, he says, "Hey,
don't be gross!"
and the Number 1 Sign Your Date's Not an English Major...
1> You: "Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?"
Her: "Dude! That would be, like, totally bitchin'!"
[ This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff Davis, Inc. ]
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